As if we Had a Choice
by AuthorSarahC
Summary: Charles is having a hard time after Pauline left. His marriage is over, his children are struggling, his company is starting to decline, &he's never felt more alone. However, when a new assistant joins Empirical Press, Charles learns there's more in store for him than he could have ever imagined, &things aren't always as they seem. But true love finds us when we aren't expecting it
1. Chapter 1

**As If We Had a Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Chapter One** : "All Alone, I Have Cried, Silent Tears Full of Pride,"

 **Summary** : Charles attempts to hold on while his life is falling apart. His wife left him, his company is beginning to struggle, and he feels he can't do anything right. But when an old friend, a moment in time, and a little bit of luck come into play, he just might find life has more in store for him than he could have ever imagined. {CHARLIZA}

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own YOUNGER TV, all characters belong to Paramount pictures. However – I've developed my own take on them. This will be a Charliza story, from Charles's perspective. Credit: To authors, Irene Cara, Giorgio Moroder, Keith Forsey for the Chapter one subtitle, it's from the song they wrote, Flashdance… What a Feeling.

{Charles}

Charles was captivated watching the white particles cascading downward, sideways, then upwards again in a haphazard motion. Falling outside his study window, the snow resembled something intricate. A swirling motion that could only be described like that of a tornado funnel. Both in its cylindrical shape and unpredictability. It was snowing so hard that the roads were now covered in a glistening white blanket of diamonds; crystals illuminating across the grounds as far as the view from his study granted. When he looked closely he could see the gutters of the sidewalks were overrun with the rock salt and sludge from the rain, which muddied the grounds the night prior.

'Oh, the winters in New York City,' he thought whimsically. There were ones to be reckoned with. Charles smiled gently as he recalled the lights lining Central Park, and the tree in Rockefeller Center. Suddenly the window and the study felt far away. Memories of Christmas as a child came rushing back: window shopping on Fifth Avenue, a windy walk to midnight Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral. The memories could transfix him, transporting his shattered heart to a time of simplicity and his sour mood to one of nostalgia.

That was until he stepped outside into the snow. That's when he would remember the aforementioned wind, the harsh piercing air of January was unforgiving. It could whip a harrowing chill straight through the bones of those brave enough to reside here year-round. But Charles Brooks was one of those brave, wasn't he?

 _Don't start on this tonight_ , he pleaded with himself.

While rubbing the moisture from his plum tinted eyelids he turned around to search for his glass. The same clear glass, filled with the same amber whiskey, used to chase the same old loneliness. Another long night working after the children had fallen asleep, led to another night of drinking alone. But was anything different when she was here? No, he knew that it wasn't. If only he could learn that this was not a game worth playing. The 'would of, could of, should have' game. It paved the way for the loneliness he'd tried hard to suppress for months now to return. It had been almost a year since Pauline left and here, he was, still playing.

The first few weeks after her abandonment he was scarcely able to function. There was a numbness to his forlorn existence and it wasn't until he was watching his two daughters preform at their recital four months into Pauline's abandonment that he realized, she was never coming back. The realization shook him, turning his numbness to agony, his agony to apathy, and his apathy to… what was this he felt now? Emptiness perhaps? Now his heart was a strange being. Locked somewhere between depression and acceptance, heartache and heartless, severed yet mending. The pieces of his heart were being sutured back together with the hands of time, almost whole, yet different than before.

Sure, he could think of her easier now, but he preferred not to. The pain of her loss was nothing compared to his anger of her presence. And while it would take him years to get over what she did to him, he knew it would take a lifetime to forgive what she did to their girls.

But late at night what else was there to do besides think? Maybe this whole situation with Pauline _was_ his fault. But at the end of the day he hadn't left, and he hadn't run away. Some nights it felt as if the heavy boulder residing on his chest would finally give way and he'd die slowly from asphyxiation.

He failed his marriage sure, but now he was failing his girls, his company, and even himself. Most nights the whiskey was enough to keep those insecurities at bay. It'd drown out the inner voices until he fell into a dark lifeless sleep that offered him the solace of thoughtlessness.

Titling the glass towards his mouth he tossed back the liquid freely, hoping for the latter when,

*BUZZZZZZ*

A sound penetrated the silence, shocking him out of the bizarre haze he sunken into. The scotch jolted with his hand, thrashing against the side of the glass, out of it, and across the pages of the manuscript that lay open on his desk.

 _Damn it_! He cursed aloud.

This manuscript was supposed to be finished and given a final go ahead by tomorrow morning.

Pulling the navy-blue pocket square, which was mainly for decoration, from his suit he dabbed frantically at the pages. The silk like material did little to absorb the already saturated mess in front of him. It began to dye the pages a faint blue and he sighed in frustration, tossing the pocket square towards the ground.

It didn't really matter anyway. Kelsey would be able to email him the PDF tomorrow. He knew she had this novel in every format imaginable. It was her baby, and the new piece she wanted to publish under the 'Sic Lit' Imprint he had created.

It had showed great promise, but he had intended to read the entire thing before giving the final go ahead. While he was beginning to trust Kelsey's judgement as an editor, she had been promoted from an assistant very quickly and was still learning the ropes at his company.

*BUUZZZZZZ*

Grabbing frantically for his phone he offered,

"Charles Brooks," not bothering to look at the caller id. It had become his automated greeting when he answered the phone. One he was sure he picked up from his father's-father years ago.

"CHUCKKK!" Jay screeched into the phone.

Glancing at the clock it was 11:49p.m. And Charles couldn't help but smile. If Jay was still awake at this hour he was either intoxicated or... Nope he was _definitely_ intoxicated.

"Jay," he responded intrigued by what was to come. He transferred the phone from one hand to the other as he shook out of his midnight blue jacket, tossing it on the chair across his desk.

"Wheree areee youu?" Jay slurred, lingering on the final syllable of each word.

"I take it you went to Bob's party?" Charles joked, though from the lack of proper enunciation on the other end, he was sure of the answer.

Bob was a mutual friend from his past life. One he hadn't spent much time talking to since Pauline left. Each year Bob threw an annual New Year mixer that was always the talk of the town for months after. But things with him had been strained since the separation. Actually things with everyone had been strained since then. When Pauline left all their mutual friends left with her. Well, almost all of them.

Jay Wilkinson had been the exception. His roommate their first year at Princeton, his best friend their second and since then, he never left his side. Jay didn't walk on egg shells around Charles, as so many of their old acquaintances did. And he also refused to accept Pauline's absence as a "Vacation", but instead saw the betrayal for exactly what it was.

For this and many other things, Charles was eternally grateful.

"And you sir did not!" Jay accused weakly, restating the obvious. "But you should have! It's been a joyyyouss night."

"Sorry Jay, I got caught up with some work stuff and well, - "

"Look man, I need you to meet someone. I met this gorrrgeeouusss woman Ms. Miller and I think well, something is going on at work and..., - "now it was Charles' time to cut him off.

"Look buddy, if you really want to introduce me to someone for work," he began, not entirely convinced that this woman even wanted a job, "let's do that tomorrow when there's not so much, ah, _joy_ involved", he offered unable to hold back his smirk.

Jay was the kind of guy who would fall in love week after week. A hopeless romantic some would call him, but Charles thought rather foolish. Whether he was wiser than Jay or just more bitter he couldn't' decide. But what was the point of committing yourself to someone forever, if they could just leave whenever they wanted to anyway? No warning no apologizes- just gone.

Was love even worth the risk when it always resulted in pain?

Charles shouldn't have been surprised; Jay did this often. He'd meet a young woman, try to get her hired somewhere to impress her, fall head over heels in love and somehow still end up alone. But he never gave up and if it weren't for his past experiences, Jay's tenacity would be infectious.

Regardless of his personal feelings though, he knew he didn't have any positions to fill at work. Diana had just hired a new assistant last week, and Kelsey had been promoted weeks ago to fill the vacant junior editor role.

But if this woman was important to Jay, perhaps he could use his connections to find her something at another company? Although, considering Jay was a publisher, just as he was, he was unsure what position he could offer this woman that Jay could not.

"Let's do a late lunch?" Charles suggested, wanting to show he was sincere about hearing him out. "And hey, be careful out there tonight it's snowing like crazy," he added.

"Purrrfeecctt," Jay replied half-heartedly now more interested in joining in on a conversation he wasn't privy too.

Charles hung up, undoing the collar to his white button-down shirt so he could loosen his striped tie. At least now he had something to look forward to tomorrow. There were only a few things on the agenda for the day. Most importantly he had a meeting to prepare for at work, and then he just needed to touch base with Diana's new assistant. Eliza… ah, what was her name?

Moving the soaked manuscript to the side he searched his desk for the note Kelsey left. The meet and greet tomorrow wouldn't take long. It was a formality whenever his company hired someone new, one he meant to partake in last week when the young woman was hired. But he had decided against it because Diana had developed a most unfortunate turnover rate of assistants in the last six weeks.

He'd barely have a chance to learn their names before Diana fired her latest assistant, and was onto the next. Charles wondered if she was punishing him for promoting Kelsey, inadvertently taking her away from Diana, or if the pool of qualified candidates really was shrinking. Kelsey, a green eyed, five-foot four blonde, could tackle any issue with a wisdom beyond her 26 years and In retrospect she probably should've been promoted out from Diana sooner.

Moving a stack of manila folders, he found the sticky note from Kelsey,

*Read this script by Friday morning it's perfect for us!

*Meet the new assistant Eliza Miller SOMETIME this week,

(Liza for short- she doesn't like being called Eliza),

And be nice please, I like this one!"

Sometimes she would still leave him notes about a meeting or a conference call. The job of an assistant was no longer her responsibility, but the entire company was important to Kelsey. It was one of the reasons he promoted her so quickly. This was the first candidate that Kelsey had spoken up for and He figured if Kelsey liked this one, _this Liza_ , then he may as well give her a chance.

Besides she had lasted _past_ the first week and in Diana's language that spoke volumes.

The howling wind crackling the frozen tree branches outside screeched against the window pane, grabbing his attention. When he walked over to the bay window he starred down into the street lights below. Trying to stare past the faint reflection of his peppering hair, he gazed into the night.

The snow was still falling, though it had lost its cylindrical appeal and now just fell like blobs of white cotton. As he starred into the snow he wondered if his eyes were imagining things. Surely there would be no one out in this storm. But as he allowed them to focus on the object, he realized he had not been deceived.

There in the orange and coral street lights was a silhouette dancing, gradually getting closer to the front of his building. Coming from his far left, it was twirling, as the snow had done not long before, in a downward, sideways, then upwards motion. It danced in a manner so angular and delicate, it was downright graceful as it sliced through the evening air.

His eyes scanned the street searching for some other witness to this strange event. But when he saw no one else partaking, he wondered if he was intruding. His lips parted slightly, his breathing hitched, and as he exhaled it produced a fog on the glass in front of him. Though he paid his creation no mind and focused on the lines her long limbs traced through the air. They were like brushes illustrating a blank canvas only she was privy too.

The aesthetic pleasure granted by her movement left him immobilized, a paralyzed receiver of her art. She continued dancing, bewitching him entirely, while painting a portrait of interlacing strokes with her body. The strokes were either suffocating or freeing her, he wasn't sure. But either way, what he saw when she danced was such a weightless control, it looked like she was flying. His heart leap in his chest as she jumped through the snow, soaring higher into the air, and he felt he was a part of this masterpiece unfolding before him.

He couldn't bring himself to look away from her. With this stranger he was sharing something more intimate than he experienced in the early years of his marriage. She smiled to no one, as she closed her eyes and titled her head back to the sky. Why did she dance, and why, God why, was she alone? The snow fell as the wind whistled, and she twirled towards his building as the air rushed, taking the long dark curls away from her face.

Her chocolate brown eyes opened slowly, scanning along the windows of his building, and into the night sky. Whether she was unaffected by his presence or just unaware she showed no mind and balanced upon her toes as she turned again.

The cotton blobs now gradually increasing in flow were dancing down around her pirouettes, creating two bodies: one of flesh, and one of snow, both gliding together in unison. The flakes sliding down through the air, defied by gravity, dropped onto her milky white skin and vanished instantly. For perhaps they knew they held no weight in the contest of beauty.

As if she could hear his inner most thoughts she looked up again, into the bay window. Her heart and inner passion oozing from her body as she swayed. But when their eyes locked, she paused briefly and nodded as if offering him a token of understanding before continuing her movement. Unsure what to do, he nodded back confused by the hex he appeared to be under. Should he not feel embarrassed? She was so content it was as if she had danced for him alone.

Subconsciously he placed his hand upon the glass fighting an overwhelming desire to reach out and touch her. But the glass while preventing him from accessing the ethereal goddess that danced before him, sheltered him from the disemboweling pain that came with falling in love. For he knew in that moment, as he watched her brown eyes close once more, and turn from him with such an artistic act of finality, that he could love her. That God, he could love once more.

{Liza}

"Liza! You're incredible! You can't give up on this… on this _gift_ , you've been given!" Maggie cheered from across the street.

Liza continued the end of her routine she had made up more than twenty years ago, still lost in her own thoughts.

' _Was that … no'_ , Liza thought to herself as she stretched her finger tips as far away from her hand as possible. She couldn't bring herself to look back up at the window now. But lost in the mist of her dance she swore that she saw someone staring at her from the window above. And while she hadn't known him long, that face was one she'd recognize anywhere.

"Josh, I told you she was great, didn't I?" Maggie prodded, grabbing her friends elbow to shake him out of his stupor.

' _Had she just seen the head of Empirical, Charles Brookes, watching her dance? Did he nod to her, and Why did he look so sad'_? she pondered.

"You're like a dancing goddess or something! You can't just quit on this to just work with books!" Josh chided encouragingly, when Liza finally finished gliding and walked over.

Josh and Maggie began clapping excitedly, finally taking her from her thoughts.

"Ha-ha, thanks," Liza shrugged.

It had been barely a week since Liza landed her job at Empirical, and they were worried she would be giving up on her dreams too soon. While Josh knew that he didn't understand much about dance, he knew art, and watching her dance could make them feel things.

"I'm not young anymore Josh," she laughed, scooping up snow from the ground and tossing it lightly into the air toward him playfully. "Not all of us have the luxury of being 26 and living our art!" she teased, laughing at the mocked horror he expressed from the snowball.

"Maggie lives her art and she's your age Li! But hey if you can pretend to be 26 to get into publishing, why can't you be 26 to get back into dancing?" Josh challenged.

Josh and Maggie had lived together until about a year ago, when Josh's tattoo business finally took off. Thankfully it led the way to a re-opened bedroom in Maggie's' apartment. But the three had created a lasting friendship during Josh's time there. One that had proven very useful in Liza's work life.

"Look, it's complicated J, the dancing now was just, well it was a gag. I can't have another wrench thrown into things. Diana said I'm officially meeting Mr. Brooks tomorrow, which according to Kelsey is a big deal." Liza felt a warmth burning in her cheeks, as she imagined those eyes again.

"Besides," she continued, "I've never danced the same since the accident…" drifting off in her own thoughts, she left the story unfinished.

 _'_ _Does Mr. Brooks even know who I am? Maybe he hasn't even recognized me at the office? Oh, God or maybe he has! Is that why he was watching me? But when it looked at me, it was almost as if...'_

"That, was not, a gag!" Josh countered, but recalling something else she said he stopped and changed direction, "Wait, what accident?" he questioned, but Maggie interrupted,

"Let's go back to the apartment, or shall I say, _our_ new apartment," Maggie encouraged playfully, pushing Liza with her free arm. "It's pretty late and you have a big day tomorrow!"

Josh closed his mouth, understanding the story was not one he was going to hear tonight.

"There are few things better than having this one for a roommate," Josh added, linking arms with Maggie. As Josh and Maggie continued towards her new apartment something in her heart strings willed Liza to turn around. Not out of any sort of fear or embarrassment, as she probably should have felt. But it was something more, magnetic. It was as if she was being pulled backward against her better judgement.

{Charles}

 _'_ _Don't turn around',_ Charles pleaded, _'please don't turn around'_. His heart was beating frantically, and he wasn't sure he could bear it. In the months since Pauline's absence he had felt anger, sorrow, apathy, and rage, but not this. This woman made him feel... An emotion barely smoldering beneath the charred remains of his heart. The one emotion he thought he had extinguished once and for all.

 **Hope**.

All he wanted was for her to disappear into the darkness and to remember the entire encounter as a beautiful dream. Perhaps one he could cling to on the cold winter nights, when the whiskey wasn't kind. But when his eyes followed her, she joined two larger silhouettes in the distance and he realized, she was never alone at all.

Unwilling to ponder any more questions about his behavior or allow himself to feel any more inklings of emotions banned long ago, he set down his glass, flipped off the light and went to bed; decidedly leaving the beautiful creature outside in peace, unscathed from the wraiths of his tortured past. For he knew, the only gift he could bestow upon something so beautiful, the only one he had _left_ to give, was his absence.

{LIZA}

"I'll be right behind you!" Liza offered, watching Josh and Maggie walk away. She could fight the magnetic pull no longer, and her heart willed her body on as she turned back towards the building. The one that could potentially house her bosses, boss. But further the person she had just shared a moment with, a moment she could not explain.

Ignoring her mind, her better judgement and perhaps her sanity, she whirled around searching frantically, scanning the identical structures for the one that housed the eyes. Part of her wanted to see if she had simply imagined him there, or if his eyes would still be there, the ones that for a moment, peered directly into her soul.

When she found that bay window at last, she sighed defeated, as the last remaining light shut off.


	2. Chapter 2

**As If We Had a Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Chapter Two** : "If You Leave the Light On, Then I'll Leave the Light On"

 **Summary** : Charles wakes renewed after a strange encounter left him restless the night prior. Heading into work he comes across a familiar face, one he was sure he'd never see again. Jay comes to visit someone at Empirical, and Charles realizes things maybe more complicated than he realized. {CHARLIZA}

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own YOUNGER TV; all characters belong to Paramount pictures. However – I've developed my own take on them. This will be a Charliza story, from Charles's perspective.

{Credit to: Songwriters: Maggie Rogers, Tom Hull for this chapter's title, it's from Maggie Roger's song, "Light On", and I HIGHLY recommend it, as it fits the first two chapters perfectly!}

{CHARLES}

A pale-yellow beam cast through the dangling curtains of the penthouse window, directly into the bed of Charles Brooks. Rays of sunlight caressed his contorted face, as he reluctantly stirred from his restless slumber. The air felt moist, poignant and stained with the stench of stale cigarettes and sweat. The odor engulfed the air like a smog, emanating from the whiskey he consumed hours prior. He squeezed his eyes shut defiantly, as he willed his brain to remember.

' _God,'_ he exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. _'Where am I?'_

Swinging his legs over the bed his feet landed directly on top of something soft. They were his charcoal colored house slippers, donned with holes in the soles from the hard ware. But he loved the familiarity of them, sighing as he slid his feet in. At least he could relax in the comfort that he was home. But why did his most painful thoughts, the ones of Pauline which were usually at the forefront of his mind, feel so hazy? Was it something that had transpired last night? Perhaps the lone dancing angel was a catalyst, a life raft of sorts, pulling his drowning form from the emotional ocean of his pain? Or, and more likely, was the hang over going to be worse than expected?

The strange encounter the night before did seem to have shocked his system, for his mind hadn't stop processing all night long. The whole experience conjuring varying emotions within him, ones that made him realize what should have been obvious all along; he didn't have to feel like this anymore if he didn't _want_ too. Various scenarios played out through his mind on how the night could have ended. Many of them pertaining to his mystical dancer, and though they were all irrational, it made him smile.

He smiled partly for her. But mainly because for the first time in months, it was not Pauline who plagued his thoughts during the early morning hours. It was instead the dark eyed, dark haired goddess that took flight below his study window not long ago. Was it possible that he imagined it all? The puritan who danced with such a healing beauty and the broken man hovering above, unable to access the love she exuded. Yes, in retrospect it all seemed a little too surreal, dreamlike even, and he was sure the whiskey had gotten the better of him.

Charles rose from his bedside, head pounding, but steady on his feet as he crossed the cherry hardwood floor towards his bathroom. A hot shower would help him put everything into perspective. The time for fantasying reality was fading fast, and the opportunity for a fresh start beckoned. After kicking off his slippers he stepped onto the porcelain tile, his toes curling in stark protest to the chilled flooring. Reaching for the handle he groaned as the water ran down his torso, shocking at first until it finally reached a temperature that relaxed, instead of, tensed his muscle.

The warm scent of sandalwood washed away the stale smell of smoke, and he closed his eyes, letting the water wash down. He kept replaying the memory over and over, sucking out every bit of energy he could pull from it. The event which occurred only hours ago, seemed hazy mixed with sobriety and the clear light of day. The more he tried to replay it the further away she slipped, and he was sure he had more whiskey than he realized.

Her eyes locking with his as she nodded; her pirouette flawless as her limbs sliced through the falling snow. The memories brought a rush of euphoria he feared would never return and he'd fall into the numbness once more. _Remember_ , he pleaded with himself, fearing he'd lose his newly found emotions sooner than anticipated.

Her the valiant lifeform was the epitome of: youth, happiness, freedom, and _life_. And there he was, her antithesis, displaying: age, apathy, loneliness, lifelessness.

Charles stepped out of the shower and smiled, hearing the one thing that could always ground him, shouting from below.

"Daddy!" Nicole called, his youngest daughter rising early as usual, "Someone is buzzing the door!".

"Don't open it honey, I'll be right down," he called, reaching for his towel. When he grabbed it, he approached the half-fogged mirror, analyzing his reflection. And even though he had barely slept, he noticed a certain change in his features.

His aqua eyes, the ones that had greyed with sorrow over the past year, now shone a tropical shade he hadn't seen since his youth. The plum tinge to his eye line was replaced with its normal hue, and his cheeks felt sore from smirking at memories from the night before.

Perhaps it was her smile, her genuine beauty, or just simply watching her _live,_ that woke him from his melancholy stupor. But whatever it was, it generated a feeling of hope. Maybe he was crazy, maybe the whole things was, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it. Whether or not he would ever see the beautiful dark haired angel again, he wasn't sure. But he knew if he did, he needed to thank her; because for the first time in years, Charles Brooks, felt _alive_.

{LIZA}

"You need to hurry up doll, you're going to be late!" Maggie called over the crackling Bacon. "And then all this time you've spent obsessing over your outfit would've been wasted," she teased.

Liza seemed more on edge this morning than she had on her first day of work. While Maggie didn't know why, she knew something was up and decided to tread carefully. Her mood had shifted last night after they left Bob's party. What Maggie assumed was exhaustion was turning out to be something more.

"Coming!" Liza shouted, as she turned the corner of her bedroom into the kitchen.

The sound of her heeled ankle boots clacking across the hardwood floor, was muffled by the clinking of dropped tongs on the cooktop.

"Damnnn Girl!" Maggie shouted, looking away from Liza for her tongs. She was swatting at the grease splatter on her forearm as she reached for them. She glanced up at Liza carefully, shocked by her appearance.

"What you've got a hot date after work tonight with that guy?" she asked playfully.

"What?" Liza questioned alarmed, sliding her hands anxiously down over her deep burgundy dress. _Did she see him too, or..._ "Oh no, it's just…" she mumbled attempting to explain her attire.

The thick straps hugged tightly across her collar bones in a V-shape against her chest. Then, the fabric crisscrossed side to side until it came to her waist line, where it turned from a tightly pulled parallel fabric to a vertical swished chiffon. The fabric over lapped there, dropping again in a feathery design, and stopping somewhere just above her knee line. It swooshed as she walked, dancing around her legs in a weightless fashion.

Her boots were a chocolate brown, with gold buckle accents ending just about her ankles, exposing her long muscular legs. She wore no necklace, but small gold hoop earrings.

"…I need to make sure this new boss thinks I'm 26," she defended, finally finding her words. She was putting on a gold dress belt to match her shoes, as she watched Maggie study her.

"Are you hoping he'll notice you're 26? Or that he'll just _notice_?" she countered motioning to Liza's form. "Besides what about you and J-"

"26!" Liza answered, a little too quickly. "I'm working with what I have here. Besides _you_ picked this dress from the thrift shop if I remember?" Liza joked, trying to ease the interrogatory feel of the conversation. How could she explain to her what happened last night, the encounter she hadn't quit understood herself. Should would sound crazy, because it was crazy.

Maggie decided to let her off the hook, knowing she'd figure out what she was up to sooner or later.

"Yeah, but I'm a bit of a slut!" Maggie joked in reference to her selecting the outfit "Really, don't listen to me, you look great. But grab a blazer or something, it looks too flashy for work!"

After grabbing Maggie's blazer off the back of the sofa, her bag, and a strip of bacon from the kitchen, she took off out the door. Running towards the subway she immediately regretted her outfit choice. It was going to be another freezing day in the city, something she hadn't prepared for when she selected her clothes. The wind swayed her dress catching the near weightless material with ease, and she was thankful she had a large bag to help hold at least the front of it down.

After hopping on the subway, she sat down, rubbing her hands against her skirt. Somehow her palms were ice cold and sweating. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her, and she wouldn't even hit Manhattan for at least a half an hour. The look she was getting from the other passengers made her realize that perhaps Maggie was right, and she had over done it. She flipped open her compact to study her appearance, and honestly just for the distraction from the attention she was receiving.

She wasn't sure why it was so important to her to _pass_ what she felt like was the _test_ of meeting her bosses-boss. Charles Brooks was known to be a fair man after all. She was highly qualified for the job, just perhaps a little bit _older_ than anyone realized. But that wasn't really what was bothering her, was it?

What if Charles Brooks, her bosses-boss, was also her handsome observer from last night? Would it cost her the job, or worse, would he make fun of her? Perhaps the connection she thought they shared was nothing more than a figment of her imagination. Or worse, he wasn't at all who she had heard him to be and instead had a weird habit of stranger gazing.

Liza felt her phone buzz and opened it seeing a text from Kelsey,

"Don't worry, just be _you_ , and you'll do great!"

 _HA!_ Liza thought smiling to herself, what an ironic text.

"How'd u know I was so nervous kels & what time r we meeting him?"

"You keep rubbing your hands on that dress like ur ironing it!"

"Yeah, I…",

Wait! How would she know…

Liza jumped in her seat, looking around until her eye caught Kelsey.

"Hello there, you didn't even notice me get on the last stop!" Kelsey laughed approaching her, "Damn girl, let me see this!" she said, grabbing Liza's hand and pulling her to her feet.

"Oh, this is just something Maggie picked out," Liza persuaded, feeling subconscious. Besides it was only half a lie. Maggie had picked it out, just _not_ for work.

"Are you kidding? You look so much hotter than me!" Kelsey cheered encouragingly. Liza laughed at her, sitting back down.

"Look don't worry, Charles is great. And besides Diana's approval was the hardest to gain, and you somehow managed to get that. I really didn't think she'd hire anyone after me, no one she intended to keep anyway."

"Well, yeah… I guess that's true. I just don't know why I'm so nervous."

"Don't be nervous, I'll be there the whole time. Besides, I don't know how you could be nervous looking like that. You look hott."

"It doesn't help I was up half the night…" Liza mumbled more to herself than Kelsey. She had started to explain her inability to sleep, and decided against it. By the time the train halted to a stop Liza had lost herself in her thoughts.

Kelsey could tell from her gaze to leave her be for now. She knew once Liza finally met Charles, they would get along. It was Liza who was not so confident.

There were a hundred thoughts going through her mind, and she pondered a hundred different ways that she could share them with Kelsey. But she decided it was best not to share her thoughts with anyone just yet. She needed to let this play out. After all, she was starting to convince herself that the entire head nod had been nothing more than frostbite and bourbon messing with her imagination.

However, she couldn't deny that her heart, apparently disagreed. Every time she closed her eyes to sleep last night, she would see him. Smiling down at her as she danced, and his approval made her blood rush. Why did the way he looked at her, not make her feel uncomfortable? Perhaps it was because his eyes didn't hold any sort of desire, but rather sorrow, and an envious longing.

Entering the building together, they stopped at the coffee cart for Diana, and shuffled through the lobby to get ready for the day. Kelsey held manuscripts, lost in her phone and Liza held two coffees, lost in her thoughts. When the doors opened Diana was already waiting in the elevator as they entered to head upstairs. The scent of Diana's perfume drowning the icy air out and masking it with a warm bitter hibiscus. Liza stared at her, impressed for commitment to fashion, as a large tiger necklace, that must have weighed five pounds, dangled from her neck tortuously.

"Liza, this is cold," Diana complained, handing the coffee back to her annoyed. She started up at the ceiling, not even making eye contact with her assistant. Any lingering feelings of admiration for Diana's fashion previously harbored, depleted. "Do try to have things a little more um, _together_ , when you meet Charles today."

"I can get you another coffee I didn't realize-"

"I don't need your excuses Liza, you millennials are always running around thinking everyone owes you something. Your poor work ethic is a reflection on me, and I demand, excellence. You know what, I don't have time for this," she sneered, more frustrated than warranted. When the elevator door clung she added, "You two go up to my office and then head back down here with Kelsey in fifteen minutes…" she ordered.

 _Fifteen minutes._..Liza could feel the anxiety start to creep in like a spiders legs, tracing softly across her skin. The moment she had been dreading since seeing him in the window last night, was almost here. She wasn't sure she could handle this. What if everyone found out about all the lies she was telling? What if he somehow already knew and that's why he was staring at her? She wasn't a millennial, she wasn't twenty-six, she wasn't a dancer anymore, so who the hell was she?

"Lyz," Kelsey whispered, nudging her slightly. She hadn't responded to Diana, lost in her own thoughts.

But when Diana heard no reply she shouted, "If you can't handle simple instructions Liza, I can easily find someone else who can."

Without waiting for a response Diana walked off the elevator, leaving the suffocating scent of her perfume behind. Diana Trout was not a cold-hearted woman, but she was closed off to her subordinates. She demanded professionalism from those who worked for her, but it had been so hard to find as of late. Liza had been an exception, a breath of fresh air in the wake of the so many ridiculous children she employed.

So why, today of all days, was she off her game? She had finally decided to keep _this_ one, and introduce her to Charles. She knew that he was getting frustrated with her lack of a permeant replacement for Kelsey, and she thought she'd found the answer. But now the girl had gone from, qualified and capable assistant, to blithering idiot in a matter of twenty-four hours.

As the doors remained opened the strong cloud of Dior perfume lingered as Liza finally opened her mouth to breathe. "I, I can't do this!" she panicked aloud. The perfume was sliding down her throat like slime engulfing her airways, and blinding her senses. The dream of his eyes kept replaying repeatedly in her mind and she losing her take on reality. And the lies… the many lies she had told to be here, to Kelsey and Diana, it all suddenly felt so suffocating.

"I need to go!", she announced, stepping towards the half closing doors,

"Liza, wait!" Kelsey begged, pressing the door close button to shut them faster. Diana, she knew, had the ability to make you feel inferior. But she knew her mood would blow over quickly. Having been Diana's assistant before, she knew how best to handle these situations.

But before she could stop her, Liza threw her left arm down to stop the closing doors, as she turned sideways shuffling out the closing doors. She rounded out of the elevator in a sprint. Heading in the opposite direction of Diana, her eyes scanned frantically looking for a bathroom, a stairwell, or any place she could hide. Picking her arm up to take a sip of her coffee she stopped looking where she was going, and she ran smack dab into a hard surface; one smelling of mint and sandalwood.

Her senses were going haywire. The coffee cup in her left hand dropped, bursting open and splattering across the floor generating a pop and trickle like sound that rang in her head briefly. But her hearing went out shortly after and the only thing she could process was the _feel_ a cool liquid slowly seeping into the front of her dress. _At least I know Diana wasn't lying about the coffee,_ she thought as she looked down to assess the damage.

It was as if time slowed, and everything was happening in slow motion. She saw the spilled cup from her left hand on the floor. The one she had been drinking in her right had imploded between her body and the hard surface, still pressed against her.

Looking first at the body across from her,

"Oh, no no no, …- "she began, unable to form a coherent thought. Placing the mainly empty cup in her right hand on the table next to her, she began encircling the air mass around the body with her hands, unsure of where to start. Frantically she started patting her hands down the coffee stained shirt as if she could wipe it clean. But the coffee had already set.

She felt, rather than heard his sharp intake of breath and she immediately stilled her hands, resting her right palm against a chest. Agonizingly slowly, she looked up, somehow already knowing _exactly_ who it was. But when she finally looked up, it was no less shocking, when she gazed into the eyes of **_the_** infamous, Charles Brooks.

When their eyes locked for the second time in twenty-four hours, her face began to turn red. Blotch by blotch the embarrassment was illustrating her face a darker shade of crimson than she thought possible. And when she analyzed those beautiful aqua eyes that were looking down at her so kindly, it enhanced her mortified. This was not how she had planned on seeing him again; and it was him, this time she was sure of it.

"God, I'm, I mean, I'm so, I…" she rambled on, starting and stopping the apology she couldn't quite get out. All the while never removing her right hand from his chest.

"It's all right," he began politely, "I um, didn't care much for this shirt anyway," he added offering her a kind smile of reassurance.

"And your pants!" she exclaimed, removing her hand from his chest and instinctually reaching downward, until he reached out and caught it.

"Quite alright," he smiled nervously, patting her hand. She was here, she was real, and she was perfectly adorable when embarrassed.

"Charles, I apologize on behalf of our newest assistant!" Kelsey remarked rushing from the elevator returning elevator.

{CHARLES}

Releasing her hand gently, he watched as it trembled on its way to her side. She turned to look at Kelsey, finally breaking eye contact with him. For a moment everything seemed to stop as Kelsey's words rang in the air. He knew everyone was waiting for him to react, but his mind wouldn't seem to process all the information fast enough.

While Liza and Charles both felt the interaction had been minutes, it hadn't been more than seconds. Kelsey was unsure of how to diffuse the situation, and positive Liza would never let herself off the hook for this,

"Liza didn't get much sleep last night," she added quickly, hoping to provide some excuse for Liza's unorthodox clumsiness.

Liza's eyes rolled into her head, and she dropped her face to the ground, allowing her whole body to hunch defeated. He could feel the anxiety radiating off her body. Now, not only was he aware of who she was, but the fact that _she_ , hadn't slept the night before either. He had to wonder if it had anything to do with him?

He was unsure how he could have possibly gotten himself into this situation. Gosh, she was _real_ , so real that she was standing in such a proximity he could smell her conditioner. The remnants of lavender were tickling his nostrils. He had just held her hand, she had just touched his chest, and it was taking every ounce of his will power and professionalism, not to stare at her skin tight, now saturated dress.

Liza, he thought wondering how her name would sound rolling off his lips. But he was sent back to reality as Kelsey's introduction became clear. The most distressing thing he realized was that, _she_ was Diana's assistant, and that meant that she was completely and utterly off limits.

"I'll grab some paper towels!" Kelsey offered, happy for an excuse to escape the tension. Liza eyed her angrily, as she mouthed, _I'm sorry_ , before running away.

"Charles Brooks," he offered, reaching out his hand, ignoring their soaking wet disheveled appearances. She turned back smiling, thankful for the second chance.

"Eliza Miller, But I- "

"Prefer Liza, I know," he finished shaking her hand but dropping it quickly. Her face was still red in embarrassment when Diana came rushing over horrified at the scene in front of her.

"Go get something to clean this mess! Charles Liza will send it out for dry cleaning right away!" Diana reasoned frantically. "I can't believe she was so clumsy, normally she is _very_ put together," she promised, turning back to shoot daggers at Liza. Why was she even down here? Just than Kelsey returned with paper towels, drying the soaked coffee from the floor.

"Of course, I can take it off for you," Liza agreed, but realizing her slip amended, "I mean **out** , out for you right away" Diana rolled her eyes, Kelsey smiled and Charles adjusted the knot in his tie, swallowing quickly.

"Ha, ah there's no need, I'm actually heading home at the moment anyway," he added. When he turned towards Diana for a distraction, he noticed she was now turning red faced herself.

"She is normally so professional!" Diana promised, never having been more humiliated. "Charles, I sincerely apologize!"

"Just a bad night's sleep," Kelsey offered defensively, annoyed with Diana's berating of her friend, "It could happen to anyone."

Charles smirked, But when he looked up at Liza, he had the desire to reach out and comfort her. Her embarrassment and degradation evident by her crimson skin now tinging purple.

"Not to worry Diana, no harm done," he started, and deciding he should ease at least some of Liza's embarrassment he added, "Besides, I didn't sleep last night either."

It seemed to work as Liza's eyes immediately found his, and exhaled as she smirked at him.

"Oh no! Are you all right?" Diana asked, a little _too_ concerned.

"Yes, Of course. I ah caught a last-minute recital, well, impromptu performance and I couldn't get it off my mind."

"At Radio City?" Diana asked ignorantly, excited to have something to talk to him about, that wasn't work related.

Kelsey left to throw out the paper towels, now bored with the conversation. But Charles smirked enjoying the private joke was sharing with his new acquaintance and happily watched Liza do the same.

"No, this one was, off Broadway," he said slyly. "But I have to run, it was a pleasure meeting you Liza. Kelsey, Diana" he called, "I'll see you later today for the meeting."

As soon as he rounded the corner, he entered the elevator barely able to contain the rumble emanating from his chest. But when the doors finally closed he couldn't help but laugh out loud to himself. What a situation he had just come out of! He didn't even have his house keys with him, but figured he could convince the doorman to let him in. He needed to change and to make an escape from the office for a little while, there was too much to think about.

Hailing a cab, he hopped in looking down at his suit. It was one that Pauline had bought for him on his last birthday, and it was truly symbolic that Liza be the one to ruin it. Liza. What were the odds that his companies newest employee be the same girl who danced outside his window? How was it possible that she was real? He shook his head roughly shaking out the images of: her smile, her red cheeks, her dancing in the snow, her hand on his chest. Because no, it didn't matter, it couldn't matter.

Nothing could happen, it was policy. His company's policy, and it was there for a reason.

One day, he hoped that he would be able to thank her for all she had done for him. But for now, at least he would always have that moment in time, their moment, off Broadway.


	3. Chapter 3

**As If We Had a Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Chapter Three** : "If I Just Lay Here, Would You Lie With Me and Just Forget The World"

 **Summary** : Charles reflects on how his relationship with Liza is transforming into something more real. The entire staff becomes involved in a situation with Liza and Diana, and Charles takes drastic measures to mend relations at the office. {CHARLIZA}

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own YOUNGER TV; all characters belong to Paramount pictures. However – I've developed my own take on them. This will be a Charliza story, from Charles's perspective.

Credit goes to: Snow Patrol, Chasing Cars.

The next few days passed agonizingly slow. The minutes ticked like hours, the hours like weeks. It seemed that no matter what direction Charles took, he'd cross paths with Liza. Which was frustrating, considering he hadn't seen her once the entire first week she worked there. Fate seemed to be testing him, his fingertips swelled and sweating as the grip slipped on his resolve.

If Liza was aware of the feelings he was beginning to experience for her, she didn't show it. Their first meeting seemed to have exhausted all the clumsiness in her repertoire and she was again, a perfect display of grace. He wasn't sure which part of her he admired more, the elegant dancer or the mumbling angel. But one thing was sure, if he didn't distract himself with something soon, he was going to be in serious trouble of violating his own policy.

As tempting as her presence was, he knew he couldn't do that to his company. The company's good reputation was established generations ago by his great grandfather. And now Empirical Press was _the_ most respected publishing house in all of New York. Its executives' perfect displays of dignity and charisma. There was almost a hundred-year legacy and he wasn't going to be the one to tarnish it.

Regardless, he had no confidence that Liza felt the same way. A beautiful woman of 26 would have no interested in a 42-year-old father of two. He was about to be divorced, and he was a single parent. There was no logical way she would have an attraction to him, or any desire to become a step mother to his children. She was entirely out of his league and the forbidden nature of it all was enough to drive him mad.

When he did speak with her, brief encounters discussing topics at the coffee station, he worried it was far more than lust. Their interests were similar in authors, artists, and musicians. She was always the one to remember their surroundings, excusing herself to return to work. Their talks would span on for hours if she hadn't been self-conscious enough to stop it. He was positive she was born in the wrong generation, for she seemed a lot closer to his age of 42 than hers of 26.

She challenged his opinions on Austen, Bronte, even Faulkner, and he wondered how someone who wasn't him could know so much about literature. The harder he tried to stay away from her, the more often he seemed to be near her. Things were going on a pretty standard routine of him seeking her out daily around 9a.m.

Now though, it had been three days since their last encounter, and he was beginning to wonder if she was avoiding him. Staring out the window at his desk he recalled their last meeting fondly. It was nice to have another memory with her as the old ones began to fade. Charles couldn't seem to stop strumming his fingers. Although the memory _was_ nice, he was truly worried. He went from seeing her every day at the coffee station, to not seeing her for three days in a row. The first day he figured it was bad timing. The second day he didn't' see her at all, and today, the third, he was concerned that he had overstepped his bounds and made her uncomfortable somehow. For the hundredth time he replayed their last meeting together, the one from three days ago, in his mind.

" _No!" she groaned, catching the gold strands of a necklace in her right hand, just as it began to fall. Her hand clung to her neck to prevent the delicate chain from dropping._

 _Charles watched the event unfold as he stirred his coffee meaning to stay out of it. However seeing the sorrow in her eyes, he approached her desk abruptly. Her view of the coffee station was blocked by a mountainous display of manuscripts in front of her, but if his arrival startled her, she didn't show it. He smiled down at her green dress, a color he knew brought out a warm hue of tan in her dark brown eyes._

" _What've you got there?" he asked, seeing her clutching a gold chain and inspecting it mournfully. "A gift from a young man?" He inquired kindly, though generally interested in the answer._

" _My mother gave this to me," she explained, and then added without considering her audience added, "Before she died." Immediately regretting his assumption, a wave of empathy washed over him as he reached his hand out,_

" _May I?" he asked._

 _She looked at him uncertainly and then handed him the chain._

" _It's one of the only things I have left," she added to explain her intense reaction, as she watched him study it._

" _Would you mind if I borrowed it, just for today?" He wondered, but upon seeing her expression he continued, "I may know someplace that could fix it."_

 _Taking a deep breath her shoulders slumped defeated as she nodded, "sure"._

 _He smiled, walked back into his office, and sat down. After putting on his glasses he opened his desk drawer and pulled out a small pair of plyers and a container ofsuper glue. Since Pauline left, he had become skilled in many areas: cooking, hair braiding,_ _ **even**_ _fixing broken jewelry._

 _At the end of the day he glanced out his office windows just as he saw her packing up to leave. He checked the necklace to make sure it had dried properly, with little sign of repair, and he rushed out to catch her._

" _Ah Liza, could I see you in my office for a minute?" he called, trying to keep his voice even. She smiled placing her bag over her shoulder, "Goodnight Kelsey," she called turning from her friend to follow him._

 _When she entered his office, he turned to his desk. Retrieving the necklace he held it out to her with both hands._

" _You… But.. how did you get it fixed so quickly?" she questioned, surprised as she glanced down inspecting it. Quickly turning her back towards him, she reached around, grabbing her hair and pulling it to one side. "Please," she whispered._

 _His hands reached around her body slowly, allowing the chain to rest back across her collar bones before securing the garment he'd repaired carefully. Trying hard to keep his voice normal he swallowed and replied jokingly, "Well, you know money_ _ **can**_ _move mountains."_

 _Feeling his breath on her neck sent a chill up her spine, and she was sure she shivered as she turned slowly back around to him. "Thank you, you don't know what this means."_

" _Really they took care of it quickly for me, it was no trouble," he suggested, implying as if he had hired someone else to fix it, "It suits you," he complimented motioning to it._

" _Well, thank you," she said again, reaching down and touching the necklace with her fingers. She smiled as they could both feel the tension hang in the air. It was the first time they hadn't been surrounded by colleagues since their night off Broadway._

" _See you tomorrow," added quickly. He did not want her to leave, but had no other excuse for her to stay._

" _Tomorrow," she agreed turning to walk out the door._

 _As Charles rounded his desk, he smoothed his burnt orange tie against his button down as he went to sit. Liza placing her hand on his open door, peered back at him,_

" _Oh and Charles," she began, waiting for him look up, "I'll cherish it even more now," she said, gesturing to his desk._

 _As he followed her eyeline he looked down and he saw in plain sight the plyers and glue still laying on his desk._

 _But when he looked back up to come clean, she had already gone._

No matter how many times he replayed the encounter in his mind, he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong. But he hadn't seen her in days, and it had to be because she was avoiding him. He was conducting his biweekly staff meeting when he noticed something off. The quarter had been a productive one and with their investors happy, it seemed everyone could finally breathe. Liza had begun sitting in on the meetings and usually just sat quietly in the back, taking notes for Diana.

But this Friday she hadn't been in the meeting, a fact that shouldn't have been particularly shocking. She had only attended two other ones so far, and assistants weren't required to attend. So her absence shouldn't have been cause for alarm, and wouldn't have been, if Kelsey wouldn't have looked so upset.

It appeared that she had been crying. She started out the window, tapping her heel, completely ignoring him. Even Diana looked more on edge than usual and as he looked around to his other editors and department heads, they all seemed to be sending scowls of disapproval in Diana's direction.

He didn't seem to have anyone's attention as he listed off the target projections for the following quarter. Deciding it was best, he wrapped the meeting up earlier than he would have liked. Kelsey fled from the room slamming the office door behind her, and he knew his suspicions had been correct. He decided he was going to have to stop in her office to talk.

Obviously, there was something going on that affected her, and he had a terrible feeling Liza's absence was involved somehow. The rest of the editors didn't seem to flinch as they opened the door behind Kelsey, turning back to give Diana loathsome looks once more.

"Diana, just a sec," Charles asked, extending his hand out, as she started gathering her things to leave. He waited for the rest of the staff to clear the room. Something was definitely up, while such personalized attention from himself normally would've made Diana bubbly, she seemed quieter than usual. Diana closed her mouth, roughly organizing and reorganizing the things in front of her, refusing to look up at Charles.

"Well I know you've heard by now," Diana suggested defensively, inhaling deeply as if she was trying to stop her tears. "Charles, I had no idea truly!" she added, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"No idea of what-" he began to ask, but before he could get the words out, Diana broke down into tears. The only reaction she never expressed at Empirical in her twelve years of working there. Attempting to calm her down he placed a hand on her shoulder,

"Diana, its all right," he added, which only made her sobbing worse. He grabbed tissues from the counter behind them, placing them on the table before exiting.

Storming out of the room he went straight towards Kelsey's office, knowing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with Diana. And honestly, he was too afraid to try.

*Knock Knock*

"Kelsey, follow me" Charles commanded gently, opening her door and motioning her to ' _come here'_.

She dabbed her own eyes, scrunching the tissue in her hand and got up to follow him. The entire office stared at them as they disappeared back into the conference room. As Kelsey sat down across from Diana, he shut the door behind them. Looking out through the window as he gathered his thoughts, he saw half of his staff standing up to get a better look. They watched like an audience baring witness to the fire he was attempting to extinguish in front of him. Frustrated and confused he pulled the blind shut, turning on his heels as he screamed,

"Will someone please tell me what the _hell_ is going on?"

He felt the fear coarse through his veins like hot embers, as he pictured Liza's face. He feared at any moment someone was going to shout out, _she left because of you!_

"Why don't you ask her," Kelsey sneered, slamming her fist down towards Diana. "All of this is-"

"I know, I know it's **all** my fault all right. I've been in contact with St. John's all morning, they won't give me any information!" Diana countered, "What else would you expect me to do!"

"I don't know, not _fire_ her!"

"I panicked all right. I've been trying to remedy the situation but she won't take my calls,"

"Why is legal calling me?" Charles asked, looking between Diana and Kelsey. Kelsey sat back and smirked shaking her head disapproving at Diana. While Diana simply,

"Haven't you spoken to them yet?" Diana asked. Charles looked back and forth between Kelsey still trying to piece their conversation together. "You need to take that Charles, I'll pack my things," she added.

Charles didn't respond before he stepped out. He walked back to his office before picking up the call.

"Charles Brooks," he answered, closing his office door. "Oh Alex, what's going on?" Alex was the head of Empirical Press's legal team and had known Charles since they attended Princeton together.

"Diana called to inform us about the situation with Liza, and we just wanted to keep you up to speed. We've handled everything. She has no intention of pressing charges and has even been kind enough to sign an affidavit agreeing never to do so. This is a big win for us Chuck."

"Charges? For what!?" he yelled a little too loudly. He could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. Something serious was going on, where the hell was Liza?

"Diana admitted to us Charles, that she instructed Liza to get into the car with Max Collins this morning," Alex stated carefully, but concisely.

"I don't understand," Charles asked. "Why was Liza in the company car to begin with?"

"Charles, I don't know how you don't know this. The team has been leaving you messages all morning. Diana informed Liza to get into your company car, driven by a company employee who had been drinking".

"What!" Charles exclaimed, knocking the coat rack over as he quickly grabbed for support.

"What's worse is Liza told Diana he was drinking, and she made her take the ride anyway. Do you not see how terrible this could've been for your company? Kelsey Peters has text messages from Liza confirming the story. Liza Miller is in the hospital, and Max Collins is in jail."

Tinnitus began echoing violently in Charles's ears. After Liza and hospital he didn't her anything else as he hung up the phone and stormed out to the conference room.

"Just when the hell were you planning on telling me!" he shouted, "Diana how could you be so careless, you know what, don't answer that. Kelsey, where is she?"

"St. John's," Kelsey confirmed, watching Diana grab her things.

" _Y_ _ou_ should have told me," He challenged Kelsey letting her know she wasn't completely off the hook. "lets go," he offered motioning for both of them to follow him. "Diana lets just see how bad this situation is before you start packing your things."

"There's no use, she won't let us see her." Kelsey wined, "we don't' even know how badly she's hurt,"

"All she said, _and through her friend Maggie I might add_ , was that she received my message and she wasn't taking any visitors," Diana added, explaining why they hadn't already been at the hospital.

"Where exactly did she have to go that was so damn important that you let her get into a car with someone who was intoxicated?" he asked, dropping his coat over the chair, and squeezing the top of it with both hands.

"I thought she was exaggerating," Diana began, but instead decided now wasn't the time to defend herself, "she had to run an errand."

"Doing what?" he screamed, pushing the chair against the conference room table, "What may I ask was so damn important!"

"I sent her to get you a birthday present," Diana finished, looking down mortified.

If Charles's heart could've exploded right then and there, it would have.

"Son of a-," Charles began, but Kelsey interrupted,

"I think she might see you," she offered, attempting to calm him. "She doesn't want to see me because I didn't take her seriously, I blew her off. She doesn't want to see Diana, because well, the obvious. But you, haven't done anything. Maybe you can convince her to come back,"

"It was my birthday that put her into this mess!" he offered, throwing his hands up in the air.

"No, it was my poor judgement. But she's right Charles, it's worth a shot. At least so we could find out if she's okay," Diana added.

Without waiting to hear another word Charles took off towards St. John's.

"Charles Brooks, for Liza Miller." He pleaded, knowing he was going to have to begin begging now if he ever hoped to get anywhere. "Please, I need to see her, now."

"Wow, you people don't give up do you," Maggie asked, taking a bite of her Italian ice. She had just slipped out of Liza's room while she dozed to grab a snack.

"First you make her come back to work with walking pneumonia, the girl didn't' even get to use her three sick days. Then as soon as she comes back, still sick I may add, you let her get into the car with someone drinking. And then, like icing on the cake you go and send your legal team up here to push papers in her face you know I should kick your-"

"Maggie," Liza called, hearing her tirade in the hall, "easy girl, he's one of the good ones" she added weakly before bursting out into a chest raddling cough.

"Fine," she called to Liza. "Come on," she offered caving in, and allowing Charles to follow her.

When they turned the corner Liza's door was directly around it, and he rushed in quickly to her side. Her right arm was stitched from her wrist to her elbow, and the right side of her face was black and blue. Her skin had a grey tinge too it, and she coughed violently into her tissue.

"Hey," she offered weakly, "Look don't worry, I already told legal, I'm not suing anybody. Diana didn't make me get in-"

"I don't, give, a, _damn_ about anything but **you** right now," he said taking her good hand in his, as he kneeled to her side.

Maggie sensed the change in atmosphere and backed out of the room to finish her Italian ice. She had spoken her piece anyway, and would have more time to yell later.

Liza smiled gently, stroking her finger across his knuckles.

"And all of this over my birthday," he offered disgusted.

"Hey none of that," she said, squeezing his hand gently. "It's a very worthy occasion,"

"Nothing is worth this," he stated simply, eyeing her damaged form in front of him.

For a while they let the silence dance between them, never really making eye contact. He just continued to hold her hand, as she continued to stroke his knuckles. He couldn't believe that she was hurt, he couldn't believe that she quit. There was a million things that he wanted to ask her but he hesitated not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Forgive Diana," she asked after an extended silence, and for the first time he really let himself look at her. Tears formed in his eyes as tried to formulate a response. Clearing his throat he pinched the bridge of his nose.

He stared down at her suture arm; he looked up at her swollen face; and he looked down at her hand, finally in his.

"She almost cost me everything-"

"But she didn't, look I was never going to sue, and it's not her fault Max was drinking at 8a.m. on a Friday," she reasoned, hoping to ease his anger. She just wanted everything to go back to normal. While she knew Diana made a bad judgment call, it was _her_ choice to get into that car. Diana never would've intentionally harmed her, she was just being careless.

"You don't see it do you?" he asked astounded. How could she be thinking about Diana, or the company at a time like this. "Liza, She almost cost me you."

Before she had a chance to reply, her phone buzzed on the end table and Charles picked it up to hand it to her. There were 47 missed calls from Kelsey Peters, and he used it as the perfect excuse to change the subject.

"If I need to forgive Diana, you need to call Kelsey. She's devastated by the way," he added, handing her the phone. "Why don't you?"

"I quit," she offered, "I couldn't stand disappointing her anymore, there's so much you don't know its.."

"Complicated," he finished,

"yes," she agreed.

"Bottom line is this, she loves you, so call her." He reasoned.

As he started to slide his hand out from hers, she squeezed it tighter refusing to let go. She didn't know what any of this meant, and she wasn't sure if it would happen again.

Feeling her hand tighten he smiled brightly, "I won't be far," he offered, as he squeezed her hand back before releasing it "Just call her."

When he entered the hallway he could hear Kelsey sobbing on the phone, and was glad she had decided to listen to him. The two of them had become inseparable in the past few months at work. Hovering in the doorway he watched as she cried, talking to Kelsey, but he smiled knowing she was safe.

"You're falling in love with her, aren't you?" Maggie asked. He was unaware she had been watching him from a distance.

He went to open his mouth to speak, but when nothing came out she put her hand up to silence him.

"It's ok, your secrets safe with me."

"Charles," Liza called fearful, and he smiled as Maggie motioned towards her room.

"Go, go, don't keep her waiting," she encouraged watching him head to her quickly. As he approached Liza patted the bed shyly as he happily climbed into bed, very carefully next to Liza.

Maggie shook her head,

 _Oh Liza, what have you gotten yourself into._


	4. Chapter 4

"As if We Had a Choice"

By: Sarah Carey

 **Summary:** Charles spend some time trying to figure out what his new relationship means. Liza is faced with an ultimatum when coming back to work. Liza and Charles run into someone from _both_ of their pasts. The girls grow closer to Liza.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Younger. The characters belong to paramount pictures. The story arch is my own.

Credit to: Don't go Breaking My Heart – Backstreet boys.

 **Chapter Four:**

"I'm not the kind of person who can, fall in and out of love with you. That's not what loves supposed to do,"

{LIZA}

She could feel an ache, pulsating like a vibrating echo running the span of her forearm. Looking down at the jagged scar on her arm she sighed. It had turned an awkward shade, and makeup had done little to mask it. Breaking out of her thoughts, she heard a girlish giggle coming from the other side of the door. She sat up in bed, looking around the room, and for a moment forgot where she was.

Seafoam green walls and mahogany furniture surrounded her. Two stairs led up to the platform where the king-sized bed she was lying in resided. The massive silk down comforter she was cocooned in hugged her body like a glove. She laid back, closing her eyes once more, and inhaled the scent of sandalwood. There was a faint knock at the door, and she had a sneaking suspicion would it could be.

"Come in if you dare," she challenged sweetly, before quickly hiding her whole body under the blanket except her foot. She knew they wanted to play and she thought it may help them to find her faster.

"I wonder where she is," Bianca chuckled, laughing at the foot sticking out from the mount of blanket stuffed in a pile in the middle of the bed.

Liza gave an exaggerated giggle of her own, shuffling her body dramatically, spurring on the excitement of the girls.

"We're gonna get you!" Nicole called as they climbed on the bed, tackling and tickling Liza's form. Charles heard commotion coming from the master bedroom and quickened his pace. When Liza was discharged from the hospital, he had meant to take her home. And he guess in a way, he had. It had been a month since they sort of just "stopped there on their way to her house" and she still hadn't left. He wasn't going to be the one to mention this, fearing she'd leave. Since she hadn't returned to work he knew he wouldn't be able to get used to not seeing her every day.

For the sake of the girls, and the newness of their relationship, he moved to the guest room. But their two worlds seemed to mesh together flawlessly. The girls started making breakfast with Liza in the mornings, realizing Charles was a terrible cook. He would get ready to go to work, beg Liza to return to work with him, and then give up and drop the girls off at school. She'd spend her days reading manuscripts for Millennial Kelsey would forward, just to keep busy.

She still hadn't made a decision whether or not she should return to Empirical Press, and Charles knew better than to push her just yet. She had been through a traumatic ordeal with the accident, getting over being sick, and whatever secrets she was struggling with. He had hope that she would tell him eventually, but in the meantime he was just enjoying her being _there._

And so were the girls. Every night when he came home she would have already gotten the girls off the bus, dismissing the caretaker. She'd usually be sitting with them doing homework, or bathing them for bed. He insisted that the caretaker could handle things just fine, and he wanted her to relax. He'd go on a rant explaining how she should use this time to recover, and find herself. She'd nod at him, kiss him on the cheek, and every day she'd send the caretaker home again. 

There was a time, not long ago, when he feared she'd never want to be a part of his home life. When she hadn't spoken to him just before the accident, he was sure it was his children and the thought of motherhood that scared her off. But now, he couldn't believe he ever would've thought that.

She spent more time with the girls than him, and he could see they were growing attached to each other very quickly. It made him happy that they had an older woman they could look up too. But it made her nervous what it could do to them if things didn't work out. However one thing was sure, Liza seemed to harbor maternal instincts so strong he couldn't believe she didn't have children of her own.

Hearing the noises from his room hitch up an octave he picked up the pace and was about to step in and intervene. Every morning this week he had to remind the girls that Liza was a guest and not to be disturbed. The more time they spent together, the more comfortable they had become with her. Generally they would at least stay at bay until she came out of his room, but this morning they seem particularly antsy.

"Oh no, not my little tickle monsters!" he heard Liza cry, feigning defeat. "Can't, go, on, too, much, tickling, ahhhhh"

Charles smiled as he watched from the doorway, a coffee in each hand. All of his fears immediately dissipating as she once again surprised him. He had specifically told them not to wake her up, but it was as if they too, couldn't stand not being with her. And he hoped at least part of her felt the same, about all of them, because there she was, playing right along with them.

Liza grabbed their feet from underneath the blanket shouting, "Nom, Nom-"

"We love you Liza," Nicole blurted out, laughing as dodged Liza's hands.

But at the sound of those three words they all froze, as Liza slowly pulled the blanket from her head. Charles froze mid step, unsure if _this_ was the moment she would finally realize it was too much, too real, and go running for the hills.

But instead Liza took each one of her hands, and caressed each one of the girl's cheeks simultaneously. She smiled as she said,

"I love you too, both of you, so much," as she looked back and forth at them sincerely.

"You won't ever leave us, will you Liza?" Bianca asked.

"Ah well," she began softly unsure if this was her place to be having the discussion with them.

"All right, I think it's time you let your prisoner free tickle monsters," Charles interrupted, wishing he would've stepped in just one minute sooner. Children were so unpredictable, and it was natural they'd fear she'd leave, just like their mother did.

"What do you say, we all take the day off?" Liza suggested, taking the coffee cup from Charles and making room for him on the bed. "We'll head down to Battery Park, it's supposed to be almost 70 today, which is high even for this time of year. I think its reason enough?"

Knowing he had no choice in the matter, Charles smirked shaking his head at her in fake disapproval as the girls cheered. A day off of school was more than enough to lift their spirits, but a day off with Charles _and_ Liza, was extra special.

After breakfast Charles called in to let Diana know he wouldn't make it in for the staff meeting today. She was still walking on egg shells around him, and had yet to find a replacement for Liza.

Kelsey had taken on more work than she could chew without Liza, and he was worried she was going to drop the ball on various things if she didn't come back soon. But, he also knew that no one wanted to tell Liza, because no one wanted to pressure her to return before she was ready.

They felt too warm, in long sleeves shirts and boots as they headed towards the park. The sun rose high in the sky bathing them in a Luke warm bath of heat. It seemed the chill of winter that seems to last forever had finally lifted, and the sweet smell of spring set in. May was a beautiful time in the city, and one of Liza's favorite times of year.

"Chuck!" they heard, as Liza called to the girls to hold up.

"Jay!" He exclaimed, generally happy to see him. He hadn't spoken to Jay since had called off their lunch date a few months back. "It's great to see you, how are-?" he inquired, but before he get another word in Jay dropped the book in his hand, as Liza approached the men with Bianca and Nicole in toe.

"Eliza?" Jay spoke breathlessly. He couldn't believe that it was her, how did she know Charles?

Eyes wide Liza's blood ran cold as she looked into the eyes of her friend Jay Wilkinson. The same friend who helped her through her divorce last year. The same one she had told _everything_ about her age to when he covered for at Bob's New Year's party. But how did he know Charles?

"You two know each other?" Charles asked, grabbing Bianca and swinging her on her hip. But as the silence drug on he put her back down, squaring his hips subconsciously and feeling like there was more going on here than he initially realized.

"I met her through her ex hus-"

"Boyfriend!" Liza explained, "Ex-boyfriend," she confirmed again eyes narrowed at Jay, looking for a lifeline.

"How do you guys know each other?" Jay asked, looking down at Nicole and Bianca cradled to Liza's hips. Charles knowing something was off about the situation decided to go with the safer answer.

"She works for me," he offered, looking at Liza for clarification and desperately wishing the girls were at school so he could simply ask them what the fu*k was going on.

"You told me you worked for a Diana, at millennial," Jay accused a little too harshly, the whole story of her age running and deceit through his head. He was sure if she was _just_ working for his company, she wouldn't be out with him and his children.

"Diana works for me, and millennial is a new imprint I've started," Charles clarified, "One of the things I was going to discuss with you over that lunch we missed. Liza, Jay and I went to Princeton together, eons ago."

"Ah, well that makes sense. There isn't much in the publishing world chuck hasn't gotten his hands on!" Jay joked, trying to lighten the mood. He was going to get to the bottom of this, but he knew with the girls here now was not the time. Plus he wanted to give Liza a chance to explain herself first. "I'm late for a meeting in midtown, but please let's get that lunch soon Charles. Liza, girls", he offered before turning away.

"What was that about?" Charles asked looking at Liza, "I've never seen him so out of sorts before."

Liza watched Jay's form head away from them down the street, and she wanted nothing more in that moment than to come clean. As she opened her mouth to do just that, she felt her phone buzz, "Just a sec" she offered, swiping it open to see Jay's name.

" _We need to talk, ASAP._

 _Do not tell him anything until we talk and I will do the same."_

"Sorry, um. No idea I really don't know him that well." Liza offered shrugging her shoulders as she put her phone away. Grabbing the girl's hands she looked down at them, unable to face Charles. "Shall we?"

The rest of the day passed, and Liza was unable to focus. She felt like she had been caught red handed in the cookie jar. She had no idea that Jay knew Charles, or she would never have told him anything. She had eventually texted him agreeing to meet later on that night, but she had no idea how she was going to get away from Charles without creating suspicion.

Eventually decided she needed to go, _go home and get fresh clothes,_ she left his apartment around 7:00 to meet Jay. Her hands covered in sweat she knew he already knew too much. Jay had always been a good friend to her. They met at Bob's house a few years back and he reached out to her when she was going through her divorce. But it was evident that he had known Charles far longer, and from the anger he expressed she could tell they were close.

When she approached the restaurant Jay was already sitting there, sipping on a martini. She could he had ordered her a scotch, and she sat down without any formalities taking a large sip.

"Liza, what the hell is going on? You didn't tell me you worked for Charles!" he challenged, not waiting to get into things. She sighed immediately sure there was no way this conversation was going to end on a positive note.

"I don't. Technically I work for Diana," but he started to interrupt her, "I know," she said, "but honestly I had no idea that you even knew Charles!"

"That man has been my best friend for twenty years. I can't believe that he is the one you're deceiving. That company was built in his family, with their name, their money, their blood sweat and tears. It's not just about money Eliza. You could destroy a reputation his family has worked towards maintaining for almost century." 

"I don't work there anymore. I haven't for a few weeks,"

"It doesn't matter Eliza. You helped created millennial. That's a story that will never go away, the saving imprint of Empirical Press was founded by a forty year old fraud!"

She winced, having no defense and took another sip of her scotch to assuage the guilt she felt. She always knew that her working there could jeopardize everything, but she didn't' consider that those consequences didn't' disappear after she was gone.

"I know, but I'm not going back. No one ever has to even remember me there,"

"No one. Really? What about his girls. I saw how they clung to you. How long have you two been sleeping together?" he challenged, now generally enraged.

It was one thing to deceive a company, but another to mess with this man's life. The girls has been through enough after Pauline left, and Jay knew firsthand the hell that Charles had endured in her absence. Now the first time that he let someone back in again she is not only defrauding his company, but him… and he has no idea.

"We haven't, it's not like that. Jay,-"

"You need to break it off, now." he demanded. "Liza you're lying to him, you're going to destroy him when he finds out, and he will find out."

"I can't just do that Jay, it's not that simple. I'm not playing some game here. What I did, lying about my age for a job, I never expected it to blow up like it did. But I left Empirical, I tried to do the right thing to salvage his company and millennial. I did my best to protect Kelsey, and Diana, and him as soon as I realized what a mess it all became. I tried to prevent it from coming near me, and there being anything risked. I gave up the job, everything I worked for… But I can't just leave, I-"

"You don't have a choice Liza."

"Jay, I'm falling in love with him." Jay sighed downing the rest of his martini. It tore him apart knowing how cruel he was being to someone he generally cared about. But he knew that he needed to say what was in his heart. She needed to do the right thing, and he felt he was the only one who could make her do it.

"And who is he falling in love with?" He began, "Eliza, forty year old mother, divorcee, ex ballerina, Dartmouth graduate? Or Liza, twenty-six year old assistant who's playing house pretending she doesn't already have a child."

Liza looked down now silently crying, the truth in his words stung like salt being smeared into an open wound and pressed down for good measure.

"Look, I'm sorry. But you need to tell him that this is over, before you hurt him anymore than you're already going to. Don't go back to work there. Come work for me, I'll make sure we get Caitlin's tuition taken care of. I'm still your friend Liza. But Charles, is my best friend."

She shook her head, wiping the tears away. Inhaling deeply she nodded looking up through her tears. While everything he said was ripping apart her insides, for the first time she really considered what it would do to Charles.

"You don't understand how betrayed he felt after Pauline. I didn't think he'd trust another person again. If he finds out that the only other woman he's ever loved in his life has been lying to him about who she is entirely, I don't know if he'll recover from that." Jay shook his head, his anger calming down at seeing her tears. At least he knew she generally did care for him, and that this wasn't part of the façade she had created for her 26 year old self.

"What do I do?" she asked, generally not sure how she was going to walk away from the one person who gave her life purpose.

"Tell him, you care for him but it's not the life you envisioned. Make it about his age, as you have with everything else. Tell him whatever you have to, but save the truth. You owe him this lie more than you know Liza."

After coming up with a plan to start over working for Jay's company, and Jay swearing he would be there for Charles and the girls she left the restaurant. As she walked back towards his apartment building she prayed for the strength to be able to do what she knew, she had to do.

She pressed the button to be buzzed up, but hesitated at his door before knocking. Expecting her, he opened the door with a bowl of popcorn in his hand.

"You're back!" he smiled, as if he wasn't sure she was coming back. "Just in time for Frozen!" he teased knowing they had seen the movie a dozen times in the month she had been staying there. "Where are your things?" he asked, the smile from his face now fading. She had left to grab more clothes, hadn't she?

"Charles, I can't do this anymore," she stated as immediately feeling the tears rush her face, turned to walk away. She heard the dropped glass bowl of popcorn smash on the ground, as he caught her arm, stopping her.

"Wait, Liza," he said, stepping over the mess into the hallway and shutting the door. "What do you mean? We can pick another movie, I know you've had a lot going on but-"

"No, that's just it. It's not me, it's you Charles, and it's all of this!" she said, motioning her hands around. Physically she began shaking, almost convulsing from her anguish. It was as if her body was attempting to fight back against the words she spoke.

"I know we've been spending a lot of time with the girls, but I can make more time for just us. I… I didn't mean to let everything get put on you. I, I told you not to send away the caretakers… and-"

She had to stop him, all she wanted to do was run to him, and kiss him telling him this was all some cruel joke. But she knew she couldn't. She had to do this, for him, and so she said the one thing she knew would keep him away.

"I can't be there mother Charles. I won't be. It's not the plan or life I wanted for myself, and I don't feel strongly enough about you to change that plan." She swallowed deeply stepping back as she heard him audibly inhale.

"Liza, I never asked you to be their-" he began, but she cut him off.

"But you did, by brining me here after the hospital. I didn't plan on this Charles. I need someone who understands me better, someone who isn't so-"

"Old," he finished for her looking as if he was going to shatter into a million pieces.

"Look, please know if Nicole or Bianca ever need a baby sitter, I'm there. That I can handle. But I can't be a mom, and I don't' want to be your wife."

And with that she turned, running out of the building.

Charles stood standing there in shock, around the broken fragments of glass and popcorn.

"Daddy," Nicole called, as he turned around to open the door. "Is it Liza?"

"No sweetie," he said before closing the door, "I don't' know who that was."


	5. Chapter 5

**As If We Had a Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Chapter Five** : _"The Second Shelf, The Note She Wrote, That I Can't Get Myself to Throw Away"_

 **Summary** : Liza attempts to pick up the broken pieces and move forward. She starts her new job at Random House. Kelsey and Diana suspect there's something more going on to Charles's absence at work and begin digging. Kelsey gets to the bottom of things and Jay realizes, he can't have it both ways. {CHARLIZA}

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own YOUNGER TV; all characters belong to Paramount pictures. However – I've developed my own take on them. This will be a Charliza story, from Charles's perspective.

Credit goes to: YOUNGER TV writers. I generally NEVER re-use lines, **but** the one about being _a forty something year old publisher_ was just too brilliant. As everyone will recognize immediately, it is NOT mine. But the rest of the dialogue is my creation. Shout out their writing team for writing one of the best lines ever.

Matchbox Twenty – Long Day. For the Title and being my Musical muse while writing this chapter.

{Charles}

The wind thrashed the now leaf covered branches against his study window. Hearing the noise, Charles began to sir, opening his eyes to the grey haze. It was so dark in his study, even with the curtains drawn he was unsure of the time. It could've been evening time, he wasn't sure. He felt his bones, stiff and aching, as he rolled off of the couch onto his feet. The decanter had not a drop to spare, his crystal glass knocked on its side from the night before.

Try as he may, he couldn't get the vision of Liza out of his head. It had been a week since she left and her scent lingered on his bed sheets, in his study, everywhere. Like a lavender scented freeze had just been sprayed over his entire home, and it was suffocating him. His sister had come and taken the kids, that next morning. After putting them to bed early, he downed an fifth of whiskey and emailed her to be there first thing. She wasn't aware of what had happened, but she knew it must have been bad for Charles to ask for help.

The questions Nicole and Bianca started asking about Liza was too much to bare. It was hard enough hearing his own questions echo in his mind, it was unbearable hearing theirs. He couldn't believe that it had happened twice to his girls. Though he knew Liza had offered to be there for them, he didn't know how that would be possible. It was killing him to even think about her, how could he let her come over to see them?

Willing his head to stop spinning he pulled the blind closed. His eye caught the folded piece of blue construction paper he had shoved on the shelf behind his desk. Grabbing it he unfolded it, for what seemed like the millionth time, and scanned it as if it would give him some answer he hadn't seen before. He had tried a dozen times but he couldn't bring himself to dispose of it. While it was painful to see, it was the only proof besides her scent that she had ever existed.

 _Ran to get eggs! If the girls wake, tell them I'll be back shortly._

 _All my love,_

 _Liza_

 _P.s. – Hi._

He smiled through the tears he choked back, laying back down on the sofa. He let the note slip out of his hands, falling to the ground. None of this made any sense. He prayed for mercy, closing his eyes, as he rolled over and found sleep once more.

{DIANA}

Diana knew that something was wrong with Charles. Normally he would call if he was going to take off work. Instead he had sent an email, a vague one at that and she knew there was something else going on.

 _I'll be out for the next few days, you have my permission to sign off on whatever needs it, and I'd prefer not to be bother unless it's essential._

 _Charles_

What could she do? It wasn't her place to call him and ask him what was going on. They had been friends for twelve years, but they always remained professional.

"Kelsey!" Diana yelled through her open office door.

"You know Diana, I'm not your assistant anymore, you can't just-"Kelsey started, as she approached, coffee in hand.

"Shut up. I think you're right about Charles. It's time to do some digging."

It took them all of two minutes to see the press release put out by Random House.

 _Random house welcomes new junior editor, Liza Miller._

"That son of a bitch. Who's the head of publishing over there, I want them on the phone!" Diana remarked. They thought Liza was taking time to come back after the trauma of the accident. But they always assumed that she _was_ coming back.

"Jay Wilkinson I believe," Kelsey scowled, googling him. She was right, and there squared on their screen was a photo of the two shaking hands.

"Do you think this has anything to do with Charles's absence though? I mean, I know he cared for Liza but I don't know why he'd miss work over this." Kelsey questioned, more so aloud than to Diana. "It's just strange," she continued, "He was so happy these past few weeks, and now-"

"He hasn't shut down like this since Pauline left, maybe not even then," Diana agreed.

"But why would you think it has something to do with Liza?" Kelsey asked, not putting the pieces together.

"Grow up Kelsey," Diana responded, pushing her chair back as she stood. "Do you really not see the connection?" she shook her head, pacing across the room. "But it must have been serious if he's missing work…," she continued to think aloud.

"Wait. Liza and Charles? No, she would've said something to me!" Kelsey protested.

"You do know that it's against company policy, she was probably protecting Charles. Just like Charles was protecting himself by not telling me," Diana suggested. "Think about how he chased after her after the accident?"

"And it would explain why Liza hesitated to come back to work," Kelsey agreed. "But wouldn't they be happy that she was working somewhere else?"

Something wasn't adding up, and they were sure there was a piece of the puzzle they were missing. Perhaps it had something to do with Jay and Liza? They did seem friendly in the photograph. Or maybe it was something else entirely. But either way they knew that something was going on. Liza hadn't even told them she was taking another job, if she was leaving on good terms to be with Charles, wouldn't the news have been celebrated rather than harbored like a secret?

{LIZA}

Liza ran her hands along the top of her blonde wooden desk. Her view behind the office fern overlooked Manhattan, and she inhaled as looked around her new office space. Jay had taken care of her as promised, providing her with a job, a beautiful office, and a shoulder to cry on. While it had been painful to hear the truth patronize her over drinks, she knew he was right and she had to make a clean break. She was a least thankful she had someone to help her through it all. It was killing her not sharing everything with Kelsey.

She believed the only way to make a clean break was to cut her out as well. If she explained to her why she left, she would indict Kelsey in her lies. It was better she went on running millennial never knowing the truth. That way she could be proud of her accomplishments with a clean conscience. But still there was a gaping hole in her chest, and while Jay was a great companion, she missed her best friend.

"How are you settling in?" Jay called as he knocked lightly at her open door. He smiled down at her brightly.

"Good," she said unsure, looking around the massive space. It was definitely a change from her small cubicle outside of Diana's office. "It's just-"

"Not the same," he added, and she smiled at how well he could read her. It was one of the reasons he reached out to her during her divorce. And it was the main reason he was reaching out to her now. Maggie had been away in Europe and he knew she was going to try to handle everything alone. But he was determined not to let that happen. "Give it some time Eliza, it'll feel like home here soon enough. Besides, the pay raise can't hurt?" he teased, seeing her chuckle lightly.

"That's one of the only things that doesn't," she sighed, looking out the window. "I'm sorry Jay, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, and I just miss him. I know this is the right thing but it doesn't make any of this easier."

"Let me tell you what, let me take you out for a drink tonight," he offered, "You have to get your mind off of things for at least a night or you're going to drive yourself crazy. It can be a welcome to the company kind of thing,"

"Yeah, that sounds nice," she agreed. With Maggie being away, and not talking to Kelsey the nights had become particularly lonely.

"I'll tell you what, head out now and go get ready. You can start fresh Monday," he suggested kindly, "I'll text you the address,"

{Diana}

 _Let's meet for a drink tonight, I need to catch you up on some things. It's important. I won't take no for an answer._

 _-D_

She waited for a reply hoping she wouldn't have to go and tare him out of his house. She had done this once before when Pauline left and he had been exceptionally miserable at work to his employees. After he vented to her, she'd pretend it never happened and then he move on, good as new. Hopeful that she would be able to do the same thing this time around, she waited. Would she be able to get information out of him?

 _Fine. Where?_ He replied.

Well at least he's up, she thought to herself.

"Kelsey!" she shouted to her, as she was walking by. "I'm having a drink with Charles tonight to see if I can get some answers. I suggest you reach out to Liza and see if you can find any information that will help prevent me from looking like an idiot."

Kelsey shook her head knowing it was a lost cause. If there was any information she was able to get from Liza she wouldn't share it. Regardless she hadn't answered her in almost a week. There was something going on, and Kelsey felt betrayed that Liza didn't' trust her enough to share it.

"I'll try, but I wouldn't get your hopes up." Kelsey added and kept walking.

{LIZA}

"I told you to I'd meet you there Jay!" Liza laughed, opening the door of Maggie's loft. But her laughing ceased when she realized who was on the other side.

"Oh," she said, opening up the door fully and grabbing her arms to hug herself.

"Yeah, Oh." Kelsey said, pushing past her and walking in the loft.

"Hot date Liza?" she accused, motioning to her black skin tight dress and stilettos. "What are you running around Manhattan banging publishers now?" she snapped as she threw her bag down on the sofa. "Why haven't you been answering me?"

"Kelsey, I meant to, but there's been a lot going on." Liza walked into the kitchen pouring them both a glass of wine. This conversation was one she was trying to avoid, but she knew if she was going to have it, she didn't want to be sober.

"Yeah like your new job you forgot to tell me about? I had to read about it on Random House's quarterly newsletter this morning. You were my partner Liza, do you know how humiliating that was?" Kelsey said almost ripping the glass of red wine from Liza's hands. "I deserve so much more than that."

Liza sat down next to her taking a deep breath.

"You're right Kelsey, you do," she offered, waiting. She knew that there was probably a few other things she needed to get off her chest and she wanted to give her the chance to vent.

"And what is going on with Charles? He hasn't been to work all week and Diana seems to think this has something to do with you? Please tell me she isn't right Liza. Sleeping with the boss never works out for anyone. Is that why you left? Did he force you too?" she asked generally concerned for a moment. It was one of the only ideas Diana hadn't considered and she needed to ask just to make sure.

"Charles hasn't been to work?" Liza questioned, ignoring the latter half of what she said. But when Kelsey just nodded angrily as if to say, _um yeah,_ she dropped it. "He didn't ask me to leave Kels, he begged me to come back, daily actually." She admitted. Liza wanted to make sure that Kelsey didn't blame Charles for her departure. Having anyone at work thinking she left because of him, because of their relationship would be unfair. She left because of her own lies.

"Then why did you leave? Is Diana right, were you two sleeping together?" she asked in disbelief.

"No, we hadn't." she admitted seeing Kelsey immediately relax, but she felt inclined to add, "But I had been staying with him." If there was one thing that Liza was sure she could trust, it was Kelsey's discretion. The only reason she hadn't told her sooner was because she hadn't decided if she was going to come back to millennial. But now that she knew she never could, because she could never face Charles again, there seemed to be no point in lying about him.

It was somewhere around the second glass of wine for each of them that Liza finally decided to come clean, about everything.

"And your daughter,"

"Caitlin," she clarified,

"Is how old?"

"Eighteen, but she's studying abroad in India for a year."

"Holy shit Liza," Kelsey said, downing the rest of her wine and holding out her glass. "I understand wanting to help your daughter get through college, I admire it actually. But millennial, I mean, it could ruin everything I've worked for, everything _we_ worked for."

The tears pooled over her eyes and Liza looked down ashamed. She had made such a mess of things, and she didn't know how she could begin to repair all the damage.

"I don't' care that you're forty Liza," she added, "I care that you lied to me, that you jeopardized the imprint. God is, is _that_ why you left?"

"That, and other things. I couldn't take lying to you. I took the job as Diana's assistant to get my foot back in the door. No one would hire a forty year old to work in publishing who had taken a fifteen year hiatus to raise their child. But when David,-"

"That's your husband?"

"Ex-husband yeah. When David blew the rest of her college fund we had saved, I knew I had to do something. That's when Maggie, Josh and I came up with the idea. But I had no idea how messy everything was going to get. Kelsey I love you, and I'd never want to do anything to hurt you. I wanted to leave, and let you stay in the dark, hoping it would help protect you and millennial if any of this were to get out."

"That's not how we do things Liza. It wasn't your place to decide for me" Kelsey began reaching out to hug her. "I should've been there for you, and I would've been there for Caitlin too," she offered shaking her head. "You should have trusted me."

"I really thought it was the only way," she added bringing their glasses to the kitchen. "A water?" Liza asked reaching into the fridge,

"Yes please. But what about Charles, how does he fit into all of this?" Kelsey asked, still feeling like she was missing something.

"He came to see me in the hospital, and everything kind of just spilled out. He brought me back to his place when I was discharged, and I sort of, just never left," She stared into the distance smiling at the memory before handing Kelsey her water. "But when we ran into Jay, who is Charles's best friend from college I should add, he made me realize I had to leave. I was going to hurt Charles."

"He fell in love with you, didn't he?" She asked curious, letting the ice cold water soothe her throat.

"I don't' know," Liza offered, "But I fell in love with him."

"So what's the problem? You don't work for him anymore? Isn't that a large part of the reason you took the job at Random House?"

"I took the job at Random House to protect you. I left Charles to protect him. If he was falling for someone, it wasn't me Kels."

"What do you mean it wasn't you?"

"He cared for the 26 year old Liza, the single assistant. Not Eliza, the 41 year old divorced mother. I lied to him Kels, about who I was, while asking for his heart in the process. After everything he's been through, he deserved more than that. I was so selfish Kelsey, I just didn't want to let him go."

"You keep talking about Liza and Eliza as if you're two different people. You've told me the truth and though it hurts, I still see you as Liza. Sure you were married but you aren't anymore. And yes you have a daughter, but she's grown. You're allowed to be your own person in spite of having other people in your life, and in spite of having a past."

"Pauline abandoned him, and then I went and did the same thing. Nicole and Bianca had grown so attached to me and already I miss them."

"So reach out to him, ask to see the girls. It may help bridge the gap," she suggested. Liza shook her head, standing up and smoothing her dress.

"If you would've heard some of the things I said to him the last time we saw each other Kels. I don't think he'll ever speak to me again. I hate to do this but I have to go. I did promise Jay I'd meet him in the Bronx for a drink tonight."

"Do you really think that's such a good idea?" Kelsey asked. She couldn't imagine that after losing Liza he'd be happy she went to work for another company. Especially one that housed a single attractive man like Jay Wilkinson. His smooth dark complexion was enough to make any single woman swoon.

"He's been a good friend to me." She defended. "But now that you know everything, if you want me to, I could call you?"

"Oh I'm not leaving, I have nothing else going on tonight. I'll be here when you get back." Kelsey offered putting her feet up on the coffee table. It was comforting how easy things were so soon after telling her the truth. The love Kelsey had for her truly was unconditional and she suddenly felt foolish for not telling her sooner.

"Oh and let Jay know he better watch his back. I'll have you back at Empirical before the summers over," she offered turning up the volume on the television. Liza smiled, turning and walking out the door.

{Charles}

"And then she was just gone," Charles confessed, staring at his shoes as he and Diana walked up Arthur Avenue. He put his hands in his jacket pockets unable to look at her as he spoke. Diana and he didn't have personal discussions often, but he had confided in her a while back when Pauline left, and it seemed to help.

"Charles there has to be more to the story. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong," she reasoned moving her hands as she spoke. But he shook his head unwilling to hear her words.

"I'm too old for her. She told me she didn't want to be a wife, or a mother. How can I be mad at her for that? How can I blame her for not wanting the baggage that comes with my life?"

"Charles your children are hardly baggage," Diana reasoned. "And if Liza isn't willing to accept the extra _gifts_ that come with being with you, then even she is not worth your time."

Charles smiled at her as they rounded the corner to Pasquale's. "Hungry?" he offered, turning around to face her. But the look on Diana's face was one of shock, as she looked quickly between Charles and the scene behind him. "Not particularly," she said quickly, wondering how to distract him. But before she had the chance he turned around.

Inside the front window Jay's hand touched the small of Liza's back as he kissed her cheek before, he pulled a chair out for her. She smiled brightly leaning into the embrace, looking flawless in a black chiffon skin tight dress. Her long legs exposed as they crossed under the table. Diana could see the knuckles white out as Charles's hands balled into fists as the scene unfolding in front of him.

"That son of a bitch-" Charles sneered, taking a step towards the door. But Diana grabbed his arm, steadying him.

"I thought you knew about this, and it was why you were so upset" Diana explained. "She took a job with Random House, she's their newest junior editor,"

But as they watched from the window he saw Jay take Liza's hand in his, kissing it affectionately.

"That," he began enraged, "does not look like work."

Diana felt the force of wind knock her back, as he grabbed the door handle whipping it open and was inside before she could regain her balance.

{Liza}

"Your majesty, I gravel as your feet, mwah, mwah, mwah," Jay joked emphatically, kissing Liza's hand emphatically.

"Serenading me with The Lion King, how very millennial of you," Liza laughed.

"You remembered?" He smiled, releasing her hand and motioning for the waiter to come over.

"Watching you sing the Lion King for Karaoke while intoxicated at Bob's party?" She tossed her hair back laughing, "How does one forget such a startling rendition of Hakuana Matata?"

"Two bourbons please?" Jay ordered, as Liza eyed him suspiciously.

"No Martini tonight?" she teased,

"No martinis are for business, bourbon is for celebrating."

The waitress was almost knocked over leaving the room, as Charles stormed past her teeth clenched. He had no idea what he was going to say, but the image of Jay's hand on Liza's bare back was making him sick, and the thought of his lips on her skin was driving him mad with rage.

"Charles," Liza blurted, seeing him first as he stormed towards their table. Hearing the name Jay turned quickly, placing his hand out to Liza to inform her not to move.

"How dare you?" he accused her, though he wasn't sure of what as he spit the words out. He screamed them towards Liza unable to even look at jay.

"Charles, it's not what it looks like," Jay defended, but Charles interrupted,

"I think it's exactly what it looks like," he scoffed turning on Liza.

"You don't understand," she reasoned, hoping to explain Jay had given her a job. That all of this was just some formality agreed to out of friendship. She was in love with him, could he not see that? _Of course he couldn't see that,_ she remembered and it was all her fault.

"Your right, I don't understand anything." He began, slamming his fist down on the table, stealing the attention of the other customers in the restaurant. "I don't understand how you two know each other so well, I don't understand why you left Empirical to work at Random house _,_ and I don't understand how you're dating a forty something year old in publishing who isn't me," he screamed causing a wave of silence to wash over the entire restaurant.

Diana walked up, slowly behind Charles, placing her hand on his arm.

"Charles, it's time to go," she whispered firmly. Liza opened her mouth to speak but Diana shook her head, instructing her to stay silent.

"Damn it Liza," he exhaled speaking at a softer volume, "You made me fall in love with you, you made my girls fall in love with you..." he confessed, dropping his shoulders in defeat. "If it wasn't my age" he began motioning to Jay, "Than why wasn't I enough for you? Was it the girls?"

"NO!" she countered immediately, finally finding her voice, "Charles I love them,"

"You know what, I don't want to hear it Liza. I thought this would give me closure, but really it's made me realize you never deserved them, or me."

He had no hope of regaining his pride so he figured he may as well put it all out on the table. Finally haven spoken his peace he turned, aside of Diana, and they both stepped to leave.

But seeing the anguish in Liza's eyes Jay reacted, against his better judgement, and stood turning towards Charles's retreating form. He didn't want to see Liza in so much pain, pain that he forced her into.

"Chuck please, this isn't," he started, but was immediately silenced by a hard substance, connecting with his jaw creating a splitting sound in his head. His eyes closed instinctually and his hand reached up to burning liquid.

"Charles!" Liza scolded, stepping up to reach Jay. The blood was already running from his split lip, and she grabbed a napkin reaching towards him.

"We're done Jay," Charles stated firmly, as he shook his hand out, before turning and leaving the restaurant.


	6. Chapter 6

**As If We Had a Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Chapter Six** : **HOPE**

"Make-believing we're together, That I'm sheltered by your heart _"_

 **Summary** : Kelsey, Diana, and Jay team up together and prove to be unlikely but powerful allies in the healing of their friend's hearts. Liza is reunited with two people she's been so much, and Charles begins to see things are not always as they appear to be. Bottom line, this chapter could've just been called, _Hope._ {CHARLIZA}

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own YOUNGER TV; all characters belong to Paramount pictures. However – I've developed my own take on them. This will be a Charliza story, from Charles's perspective.

Credit goes to:

PER HAKAN GESSLE for writing the famous song by Roxette – It Must Have Been Love – which is used as the Sub-Chapter title.

Kelsey could tell it was going to be a long night. A bottle of wine in and Liza still hadn't stopped crying. The sound of her sobs echoed off the loft walls like a feral cat dying. A most primal kind of sobbing sound that could only be conjured from a broken heart. After a lot of mumbling, guessing, and filling in the blanks she had figured out most of what went on between Liza and Charles. It sounded far worse than she ever could have imagined.

Liza's recollection painted a trifecta of bad, though harmless enough events that had all meshed together at once. The result created a time bomb that exploded on impact.

Honestly Kelsey had to admit she was grateful that Jay was so patient. He drove a sobbing Liza all the way home to Brooklyn. As he stood in the door way, supporting her weight, Kelsey finally pried her off of his shoulder.

The flood gates had opened, and she found little relief to stop the pain she'd been repressing. Jay had offered to stay with her when he dropped her off, feeling responsible for the entire thing. However, Kelsey, after introducing herself, suggested that he go and tend to his swollen lip, or perhaps Charles instead.

He asked that she text him when Liza fell asleep to let him know that she was okay. After instructing that his number was in Liza's phone, he offered one last,

"I'm so sorry Liza, truly." and left. He felt responsibke and kept apolo for leaving her sobbing in Kelsey's arms. His genuine compassion for her best friend made it a little more difficult for Kelsey to dislike him.

Once Liza had finally cried herself to sleep, Kelsey opened her phone to text Jay. She saw she had a few missed calls from Diana. Shocked and curious that she actually would fill her in on what happened, she swiped open her phone to see a voicemail. Raising it to her ear she heard,

 _You millennials think the world just waits for you! I need you to call me back, if that's not too inconvenient. I was refereeing a boxing match between Charles and Liza's new beau this evening and I could use your help. But you're probably home skyping to your tweeter flowers or whatever… Look this situation between the two of them, I think it's worse than we feared. Would you call me back?_

 _Oh, and this is Diana Trout, my number is 444-4444._

Kelsey shook her head smirking as she deleted the voicemail. Only Diana could leave such a patronizingly polite voicemail. Deciding she at least owed her a phone call back swiped down to call Diana.

{Liza}

Liza's head was spinning as she listened to all the information Kelsey was trying to fill her in on. She had only been asleep a few hours, but it seemed like a week with all she had missed. The words were flying out of Kelsey's mouth as she paced across the floor in front of her. The fragmented sentences were coming out faster than she could process them.

Liza sat there, legs against her chest, clutching a pillow in front of her. The suspense of the conversation allowed her otherwise blurred mind to sharpen. The mixture of wine and bourbon was churning her stomach; she was almost thankful that Kelsey's rant gave her something else to focus on.

"And Diana isn't going to tell anyone, so you don't need to worry about that." Kelsey encouraged, pausing to see her reaction. She knew it was a risk to tell Diana about Liza's age without her permission. But she also knew that things had changed since she left Empirical.

"You told Diana I'm forty one? Are you insane Kelsey, she's going to kill me!" she groaned, using the pillow to bury her face.

"She's been different since you left Liza, seriously. I think it hurt her when she lost you from this company. The accident was partly her fault and because of that she hasn't even hired a replacement for you. She's been on board to bring you back this whole time."

Liza considered what she said. Could it be possible that Diana was this newly formed compassionate person? Had the accident really changed her that much? She thought back to see Diana with Charles last night, and considered how her even being there was a change.

But there was so much that could go wrong. Sure she couldn't be fired anymore, but now **two** key people in Charles's company could be indicted for fraud if word about her age ever got out. And if history told her anything, it's that the other shoe would drop eventually. People would find out the truth, eventually.

It was why she hadn't just told them herself. She had done her best to run away from the company and hide, knowing she was a ticking time bomb. She tried to shelter those she'd come to love from the inevitable implosion.

"I didn't want this domino effect to happen Kelsey. I told you and now Diana knows and whose next? This isn't the time for me to suddenly come clean to the world. I'll end up even more alone than I am now. And, what about millennial? The reputation of Charles's Company could be destroyed."

"She's not going to say anything." Kelsey reasoned, wishing Liza could have just heard Diana on the phone last night. "But she was thrilled about your age!"

But she began again when she saw Liza's look of disbelief. "I mean, she called you a self-centered egotistical brat, one who fit in with the millennials far more than _her_ generation. But in Diana speak, I think she was thankful you had such a simple reason for leaving the company. I think she's been blaming herself this whole time."

"Simple reason?" Liza questioned, pointing to the contrary. The situation was anything but simple. She was mad at Kelsey for telling Diana without her permission, and confused; but she was also thankful that it was one less persons she had to lie to.

"Well, okay, not simple. But it's something we can work with. Charles will forgive you Liza. But first, you need to start doing some serious damage control. Diana spoke with Eileen, she's going to have the children at Washington square park, today, from 1-3."

"Okay." Liza said, shaking her head in confusion, "and Eileen is…?"

"Charles's sister, try to keep up." She ushered impatiently. "You need to strike while the iron's hot. It's your chance to go see his girls."

Kelsey and Diana had been planning how exactly they were going to get their two friends to mend the disaster that had become of them. When Diana explained how much Charles loved Liza, Kelsey felt comfortable opening up about how much Liza loved Charles. Once their trust was solidified and they came up with a plan to help fix the situation.

"How does Diana even know how to get ahold of Charles's sister?" Liza questioned, feeling envious for not even knowing he had one.

"Diana has worked for Charles for twelve years Liza, you think she hadn't at least met his family?" she countered, as if to her this was the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides they went to Columbia together."

Okay. Liza thought, "But what am I supposed to just _bump_ into them?"

"No. Diana called in a favor to Eileen. Apparently the girls haven't stopped asking about you and she was thrilled to be the one to surprise them. She did however be asked to be left out of anything having to do with Charles. She didn't want to know about your relationship. Which, well, worked wonders for us."

Before Liza knew what was happening she was out of the shower, rushing down to the subway to head into Manhattan. It sounded insane, she knew it sounded insane, but she couldn't stop her feet from running towards them. She missed the girls, and in the short weeks she had stayed there she _had_ become like a mother to them, and it was wonderful.

She realized David was never cut out to be a father very quickly after Caitlin was born, which prevented her from ever having more kids. But there was a large part of her that always wanted a big family. A half dozen children running around, would've sufficed and maybe even a dog. But she had lost her chance at that.

As Charles's words rang in her ears, she shuttered. _Is it the girls?_ Why had she been able to be so convincing? She played on his former insecurities with Pauline, and she hated herself for it. How could she have listened to Jay? But no, worse, how could she have not told him the truth at the hospital.

It would've been so much simpler then. But Charles couldn't love her, he didn't know anything real about her. Although, he did know one thing. She definitely did not deserve any of them.

Pressed for time she broke into a sprint. It was already 12:30 and she didn't want to miss them. As soon as she had left, Kelsey filled open her phone, texting Jay.

 _My end is taken care of, expect her in forty-five._

As Liza approached the park, her hands gripped on the cast iron fence surrounding it. The sun burning her back, brought her back to the last park she visited. It was the last few moments before everything had gone wrong; the last few moments before her world turned upside down. That day, a day which started out perfect was soon plagued by running into Jay. The knowledge that she had been caught, that the fairy tale could not continue, it tarnished the happiness she tried to feel.

"Liza!" Bianca screamed, spotting her almost instantly, and turning on her heels. Nicole saw her sister running, and after following her line of vision took off behind her. "Lyyyyyyzzzaaa" they shouted running dramatically across the park.

Liza stepped around the gate, opening her arms and kneeling down, as the girls rushed into her embrace. The tears began racing down her face, as she squeezed them as tight to her as she could. For a moment, all the pain and agony of the past few days faded away. The noise stilled and everything in her world felt like it made sense again.

"I've missed you," Liza cried, burying her face in between their two shoulders.

"We haven't been gone that long!" Bianca exclaimed dramatically causing Liza to laugh through her tears.

"We've been at Aunt Eileen's house," Nicole explained proudly, as if that was the only reason they hadn't seen each other.

It was magnificent how native children could be to the pains of adulthood. So much had transpired in the past few days, but the only thing they were aware of was that they had been ' _visiting'_ Aunt Eileen. Liza, smirked, looking around for their aunt, who she assumed must have been close by.

"I know you have, I just really missed you" Liza confessed, as pulled them into another embrace.

"Come play with us?" Bianca asked, now over the dramatics unfolding and interested only in playing with her friend she'd missed.

"Absolutely!" Liza exclaimed, "But first, let me introduce myself to your Aunt Eileen."

"She's over here," Nicole called running towards a bench which housed a beautiful blonde looking down, clearly immersed in Hume. _The apple doesn't fall far,_ she thought.

{Charles}

Charles heard his doorbell buzzing the following morning around 11a.m. While he had appreciated Diana's support last night there was only so much of her perky 'get it done' attitude that he could handle. He sighed looking down at the security camera, realizing that it was not Diana at all.

"I'm not leaving until you let me up," Jay challenged knowing Charles was hesitating. He didn't' know if he could face him again. He had punched his best friend of twenty years in the face, over a girl who couldn't care less about him. "I'm serious," he called, pressing the buzz button over and over again.

The incessant buzzing pounded against his ear drums like nails on a chalk board, causing Charles to give in. If there was one thing he wished he would've done differently last night, it was to give him time to explain. Because Jay owed him one hell of an explanation. Then he should have punched him in the face.

But truthfully there wasn't a moment that had gone by, since he hit him, which he didn't wonder what it was he was going to say. Could things really not have been as bad as they appeared to be? But he watched him kiss her, he watched him touch her back, they were out having drinks, and he had hired her away to work at Random House.

There had to be something more going on. It wasn't until Liza ran into Jay in the park that she began to act weird. She had seemed to love being with the girls and him that morning, but that night she felt suffocated and had to leave? Clearly there was something more going on, and Jay was the key.

"Don't expect me to apologize," Charles warned before buzzing him up.

As he heard the knock on the door he looked around his apartment. The stench of whiskey hung in the air, and he smirked insidiously at the remanence it struck to the night he first saw Liza outside his window. He thought briefly of cleaning up, but decided it may help drive the knife into Jay's conscience. If he was feeling any sort of remorse over stealing Liza away, let him see the effect he caused.

 _*Knock * Knock*_

"Come in?" Jay asked, "Why sure I'd love you, thank you Charles," he offered mocking his friend's lack of propriety.

"What do you want Jay?" Charles sneered, slumping down on the sofa in his bath robe. He caught a quick glimpse at his swollen lip and smiled, satisfied with his handy work.

"You have nothing to say to me? Nothing at all?" he inquired, wondering if he was feeling any sort of remorse for his actions.

"Yeah, don't let he door hit you on-"

"Okay Chuck, enough. Cut the bullshit pity party act. We've been best friends for twenty years." He scolded, finally having had enough. It was understandable that Charles had over reacted in the moment, but for him to not even give him the benefit of the doubt, now that he'd had time to think about it, was absurd. "I'm not _with_ Liza and I have no intention of being with her," he stated.

"Yeah right," Charles scoffed, refusing to make eye contact.

"Actually, okay. You're right, I'm lying," Jay began watching Charles's body come to life in defense. "I did want to be with Liza, for a long time actually. Quite frankly she's wonderful, and beautiful, and intelligent and the more you come to know her, the more you'll realize you can't _not_ fall for her."

Charles sat up, pouring himself a drink feigning indifference as best as he could. He hadn't decided if he wanted to punch him again, or throw him out, but this conversation was going nowhere fast.

"So yes, I wanted to be with her, that is until I realize how completely and utterly in love with you she was."

Charles's eyes shot up and his hand stopped mid-pour at Jay's declaration, but only briefly as he quickly looked down again.

"Yeah, Thanks for your pity" He chided coldly, tilting his glass out to cheers Jay, though he had offered him no drink. Tossing his own drink back, he slammed the glass on the table closing his eyes as he inhaled a trace of Lavender. After a few moments of silence, to allow his words to sink in, Jay tried another approach.

"Listen up Charles, you want to know what's going on, here's my end of it. I hired her because she's talented, and she needed a job. She wasn't working for you remember? I took her out for drinks because she was having a hard time adjusting at the new company, and I thought it would help. I've known Liza for a few years now, far longer than you, so I don't owe you an explanation for spending time with her."

Jay stood up grabbing himself a glass and opening a bottle of vodka. He poured himself a glass and downed it, half expecting Charles to speak. But when he didn't he figured, at least he was listening, and continued.

"Anything else you care to know about our friendship you can ask her. But when you saw me kissing her hand, which I'm assuming you did or you wouldn't have hit me," he said, motioning to his lip for effect, "I was making a joke about a karaoke song she watched me sing at Bob's party. You know, the one you were supposed to be at? That was all."

"So you really weren't," he started half hopeful, but couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"We really weren't," he said smiling and shaking his head at him. "Besides, like I said, she's completely in love with you already. I wouldn't' do that to you, as much as I may want to," he said titling his glass to cheers Charles before downing it.

"If she cared about me wasn't the problem," Charles admitted as an afterthought. Even though she had left him, he knew part of her cared. The tears in her eyes when she left, and the sorrow in them when he saw her again told him that. If she didn't care about him she wouldn't have tried to defend herself at dinner. And she wouldn't' have cared that he saw her there.

"So what exactly is the problem?" Jay asked, "You punch me in the face, you declare your love for her, and then what? Tell her there's no hope for you guys, and storm off so you don't have to risk being hurt again? Is that it?"

Charles rose to his feet, "I think it's time for you to go," he offered motioning towards the door. But Jay stood his ground.

"No, come on I've already taken one to the face for you over this girl. I think _I_ of all people deserve to hear it."

Charles looked down at him, at his swollen lip and now instead of feeling pride he felt guilt. Had he really sucker punched his best friend in the face? And even so, now here he was, trying to help him.

"She doesn't want to be a part of the girl's lives. I can't force her to want to be a mother, and the girl's deserve someone who wants to be in their lives," he stated clearly. If it was anything else he knew he could fight for her, but that, was end game.

"That's what you think, she's such a good liar that after weeks of her cooking, cleaning, bathing, and raising your children – one night – she tells you she doesn't love them and boom you believe her" Charles furrowed his brow and she swirled the whiskey in his glass. He considered himself an intelligent man, but he hadn't even thought about what Jay was saying. Was it because he didn't want to?

"She's not Pauline, and if you're willing to shower and be down in ten minutes, I'll show you what I mean," he offered, but after looking at his watch didn't wait for a response, "Now go, come on, we gotta run."

Too intrigued to think about it any further Charles was up on his feet rushing to the shower. Just as he was about to leave the room, he turned back,

"Jay man, about your lip look I,"

"You're sorry, I'm the best friend you've ever had, I know, I know, I forgive you, you can make it up to me later, now let's go."

Charles was actually speed walking as he tried to keep pace with Jay. "Where are we going," he called ahead to no avail. It was clear Jay was on some sort of mission, and Charles was beside himself with anxiety as he tried to figure out what it was. When they finally rounded the corridor to the park, he stopped looking confused.

"Hey look there's the girls!" Charles said, stepping up to call out to them, but Jay grabbed his arm to stop him, as his eyes scanned the park. "What're you doing?" Charles asked.

"Wait, wait, come here, lets stand over here," he offered as they walked over to a more secluded part of the park.

"Jay the girls are in there, I want to go see them-"

"Just shut up, and watch," Jay offered, double checking his phone. The time lined up perfectly with Kelsey's text, and he was hoping that Liza hadn't changed her mind otherwise everything would be ruined. But, like clockwork he heard the gasp as Charles saw Liza approach the far end of the park, her hands gripping the fence.

"What is she doing here?" Charles asked, "Does she know,"

"Stay back," Jay offered, "She doesn't know we're here."

Charles stood watching from afar, dumbfounded as he saw Liza running to embrace his children, and them running to embrace her. When she took them in her arms he could see the shaking of her body and he was sure she was crying.

"Liza Miller has known your girls for what, two months max? Yet after being away from them for less than a week, _that_ is her reaction."

"I don't understand," Charles said, shaking his head confused. "But she said-"

"There are a lot of things that you and Liza don't know about each other yet. You're going to have to have some serious talks if you ever have a chance of repairing things. But you needed to know, she loves those girls far more than you know."

"Should I go to her?" he asked taking a step in their direction. But Jay shook his head.

"Not yet," he answered, unsure how to explain why, "She has a lot of secrets Charles. Some that are going to hurt you, many which will surprise you. But you two have decided that you can't live without one another, so you're going to have to wait for her to tell them to you. And you're going to have to be willing to forgive her when she does."

"What if I can't?" he questioned, feeling the sting of betrayal just beneath the surface.

"That's why we're here. When you feel like you can't, you remember this scene" he motioned across the park, they watched as Liza waved to his sister and chased after Nicole. "The scene of the tears pouring down that woman's face after being reunited with your children."

Charles smirked watching Eileen leave the park. She _dismissed their aunt,_ he thought to himself wondering if maybe there would be hope after all.

"Pauline left her flesh and blood after years and has yet to return. But Liza, she couldn't last a single week. So when you want to push her away, you remind yourself of that. And you tell yourself, this is Liza and I may not know everything about who she is, but I know exactly who she isn't."

Both men stayed, hovering in a distance for a short while. Charles's heart was slowly being pieced back together, though not yet whole. He feared for what was to come, of the secrets he was to learn. But he was thankful for Jay.

"How did you know she'd even come, or that she'd react like that?" Charles questioned, wondering not just about her reaction but how the timing of everything worked out.

"All she knew was that the girls would be here from 1-3 p.m. today. Everything else was up to her. Kels texted that she was on her way, which is how I knew she was coming at this time. But the reaction, that was pure Liza, and like I said she has no idea you're here so one, her reaction was genuine. And two, we should probably go before we're spotted."

"Kels huh?" Charles asked, raising an eyebrow. _Always falling in love he thought._

"She's very pretty, don't hit me?" Jay joked, pushing his arm.

The men started walking away, as Charles shook his head, looking back one last time to see Bianca on Liza's back, as they chased Nicole like a zombie.

"What now?" he asked, smiling before turning to Jay.

"Tomorrow, you called Eileen and get the girls back home where they belong. But today, for right now, you owe me a drink."


	7. Chapter 7

**As If We Had a Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Summary:** Someone has a special birthday coming up. The girls and Liza find a way to stay close to one another. Charles and Liza mend the fence of their broken _friendship_ and big changes are coming at Empirical.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Younger, or any of the characters. The story line is my own.

 **Chapter 7** : Stop Me and Steal my Breath

Credit: EDWIN COLE MC CAIN for writing the Chapter title, it's from his song, "I'll Be"

{LIZA}

The next week passed without incident. Things at the office were just beginning to feel like home. Just like Jay suggested they would, and she had Kelsey back in her life. Jay was also very welcoming of Kelsey's presence during her lunch hour, and she had the sneaking suspicion her friend had eyes for the young blonde. Whenever she was over having lunch, he would often find a reason to _drop in._ He also, never rushed her back to work if they ran a few minutes late while catching up.

"You better watch," Liza teased her one day while they were having lunch, "He might steal _you_ away next."

Kelsey blushed looking down. While fingering her coffee cup gently she smiled to herself. Her lack of response informed Liza more than her words ever could've, and she wondered why they hadn't just started going out at it already. Kelsey had hopped into relations with less attractive and accomplished men, so she wasn't sure why she was hesitating so much. Perhaps it was because there were more feelings beneath the surface than she originally thought.

When Kelsey would rush over for lunch, she'd fill Liza in on everything she was missing at the Empirical/Millennial office. The buildings weren't too far from each other, about a block away, and they were thankful for the convenience of it. Sometimes it hurt to hear how smoothly things seemed to be transitioning without her presence. Charles had returned to work, and the company was seeking investors to help keep things running smoothly.

The economy forced all the publishing houses to take a hit. With the new age in technology many of them just went out of business. But the more established ones had survived. Jay had told everyone last week that their company had very important meetings lined up with new potential investors.

"Am I interrupting?" Jay asked, as if Liza's thoughts had summoned him. He was looking more anxious than he usually did when he stopped in. "I have some news."

"Not at all Jay," Kelsey offered motioning for him to take a seat with them. His professional façade faltered for a moment, as he smiled bashfully and accepted her invitation. "Should I step out for a minutes?"

"Kelsey, this actually kind of concerns you as well. But you'll have to pretend its new information when you come back from lunch," he started, "Charles probably wants to tell you himself."

Both girls sat up a little straighter. If it affected both of their companies it meant someone big in publishing had dropped. Was it Harper Collins? Macmillan? No this felt closer to home for some reason. As much as Liza didn't want to lose her job, she prayed it would be Random House over Empirical Press. Charles's family had worked so hard to ensure its survival, and she knew how much it would crush him to lose it.

"We've been purchased by another company, and we're going to be merging in the next few weeks." He started, talking more so to Liza than Kelsey. "The investors we had lines up have fallen through, and we don't' have enough to secure us for the next quarter. There's going to be many job cuts, and only about a quarter of our staff will survive the transfer." Liza sighed depressed.

Now she knew why she was privy to such information. She had only worked there a short time and it was only right she was the first to go. At least he had the decency to give her fair warning. His transparency would give her the time to try and set something else up. Maybe with her job experience from Empirical and a startling reference from Random House, it wouldn't be so challenging to get a job next time around.

"I can't afford to keep you Liza, as much as I want to, it just wouldn't be right to my staff, some of them have been here ten years or better."

"No Jay, say no more. I completely understand." Liza offered putting her hand up to stop him. Jay had done more for her in the past few weeks than anyone had in years. Her only fear was finding a job before Caitlin's fall tuition was due. She had extended her trip in India to study abroad for a second year, because Liza didn't have the heart to tell her she couldn't afford it.

She had been volunteering building homes, working with children, and was getting straight A's. After working her entire life to get a scholarship for her academic accolades they went to someone else. Now she was working so hard to juggle everything. There was no way she could take this away from her now, not when Caitlin had worked so hard to maintain it all.

"I was hoping though maybe-" he began, now nodding towards Kelsey. It made sense now why he had this discussion in front of her. He was hoping she would be able to save the day. Kelsey caught on quickly smiling at Jay's logic. Her face turned from empathetic to inspired as she clutched her hands excitedly.

"Liza, why don't you come back to work for millennial?" Kelsey reasoned brightly. She had been hoping that eventually, after things settled with Charles, she would be able to come back anyway. This seemed like reason enough to push up the timeline. "You won't even have to interview!" she added lightly trying to calm her fears. She knew Liza would be nervous about being around Charles again.

But, she knew that Charles would accept how important Liza was to millennial. The brand hadn't pulled the same numbers since she had left. It was a business decision that he'd have to make with his head instead of his heart.

Things were still strained between two the of them. According to Jay, Charles seeing her at the park was a huge step in the right direction. Although things had sort of stalled since then and she didn't know why neither of them had made another move.

"I can't guys, believe me it's not that I don't want to." Liza explained waving her arms out in front of her while she stood. "You know why I can't go back," she reasoned. Charles had seen her with the children, but she hadn't seen _him_ so her last memory of Charles was at the restaurant.

"You know Liza, you really need to go and talk to him. Even Jay is on board at this point, " she said motioning to Jay for support. He nodded as he continued, "We really aren't even sure what you're waiting for." Kelsey pushed the topic for what she felt was the tenth time. Jay had come clean about vising Charles to clarify their relationship. _Although he omitted the fact that Charles had witnessed her reunion with the girls_.

"Even if I could find a place for you Liza, you'd still be forced to see Charles daily, so you may has well take Kelsey up on her offer." Jay stated, satisfied at the way Kelsey's eye lit up at what he was suggesting. And though it needed no clarification he stated for dramatic effect, "Empirical Press has purchased us."

Kelsey clapped her hand excitedly. "We must celebrate!" she exclaimed, standing and hugging Jay. "Let's grab a quick drink?" he offered, checking his watch for the time. They still had a half an hour until the lunch hour was over.

"Are you coming Liza?" Jay asked, realizing she hadn't stood up.

"No, you two go ahead," she suggested knowing the time alone would do them good.

"Consider it while I'm gone?" Kelsey reminded her, before turning with Jay and heading out.

Kelsey saw Liza hesitate and wondered what it was that held her back. She had made such wonderful progress with the girls.

Liza had started writing them notes, ones she dropped off when she intercepted them and their caretaker every morning on their way to school. Initially she ran into them by accident. She had taken their direction on her way to work, hoping to catch a glimpse of Charles. Instead she was pleasantly surprised when she realized her new time to arrive at work, lined up perfectly with their morning walk to school.

They hadn't seen her in two days, and they expressed a desire to see her more. While she knew that wasn't possible because of things with Charles she promised she'd think of something. Suddenly, the letters were born. They would write her back, as well as they could. And now it had become their thing, and her lifeline to the girls since Charles wasn't in the picture anymore. She _thought_ she caught them just as they had left their building, once Charles was already at work.

{CHARLES}

What she didn't realize, however, was that Charles's had found Liza's letters stuffed inside the inner pocket of Nicole's bookbag. Since than he had been going into work later in the mornings trying to catch a glimpse of the exchange. Eventually he realized that they did see one another, every morning like clockwork.

He watched from his study window as she ran to them each day, equally as excited to see them. What he found interesting was that neither the caretaker Beth, nor the girls had told him about the letters or about seeing Liza.

While he knew that Beth trusted Liza, he still found it odd she didn't mention anything. The two had become rather close when Liza moved in for a brief time, and he hadn't realized that maybe this was one of her secrets. One of the many Jay warned was to come.

He had never told them that they couldn't talk to Liza, and he wasn't sure why they would hide it from him. He assumed it was part of the fun of having a secret pen pale. It seemed all harmless enough, so he didn't get in between the three of them. It wasn't until he read their latest letters that he knew he needed to intervene.

Bianca's birthday was coming up, and Nicole had invited Liza on Bianca's behalf. Liza's reply however was vague at best, stating she wouldn't be able to attend, but had bought her something special. Her response broke his heart because he knew something that Liza did not. Bianca had not invited a single person to her house, let alone her last birthday party, since her mom left. She had flat out refused to let Charles throw her a party, even with family members.

Regardless of his confusing feelings for Liza, whoever she maybe, he knew this was bigger than them. One night after work he had typed up an invitation, on the computer, and called Bianca over after school.

"I need your approval on this!" he called out, waiting as the girls excitedly rushed out.

"Liza!" Nicole exclaimed, "You're inviting Liza?" she shouted, jumping up and down as she grabbed onto Bianca. The girls squealed excitedly.

"Well, you can't be _too_ surprised," he laughed, "I know you already beat me to the punch."

The girls looked down guiltily, unsure how he could know that information. Had Liza said something?

"Don't worry, she didn't blow your cover," he clarified, "I found this while looking for your homework last night," he offered, laying the note out.

"We're sorry, please don't be sad!" Bianca chimed, folding her hands behind her back.

"Sad?"

"We know how sad you got when we talked about seeing Liza at the park," Nicole offered, "It's why we don't ask you about her anymore."

"Well what did you think would happen when she just showed up on our door step?" He asked smiling.

"We didn't think that far," Bianca admitted, causing all of them to laugh.

"Talking about Liza only makes me sad because I miss her, just like you do," he admitted "But you can always talk about her around me, ok?" He encouraged. "Now, let's finish this invitation. We'll make it an offer she can't refuse!"

{LIZA}

The following morning Liza headed towards Charles's apartment with a box in hand. That weekend was Bianca's birthday, and even though she was sad about missing it, she was thrilled to give her the gift she had made. Knowing Bianca's love of horses, she hand crafted, out of a paper Mache, a three dimensional horse. Once it dried, she painted it tan and covered it in purple gemstones.

The entire process had taken her two days to complete, but she was thrilled with how it had turned out. It actually looked like a horse she could've bought in the store. _I have many talents,_ she thought to herself proudly before tripping on some loose stones.

"Easy there," she heard, feeling a large grip steady her. His scent overwhelming her senses before she could even look up. But when she did, his aqua eyes shined, as he smirked at her clumsiness.

"Charles," she blurted, taking a step back out of his grip protectively. "I'm uh," she began looking around for the girls, "what're you doing here?" she asked, taken off guard by his presence.

She gave herself a moment to really look at him before turning her eyes down. He had let his beard grow out, almost fully, and the peppering grey of it only enhanced his looks. But she was confused, by her calculations he should've been at work by now.

"I live here," he smiled, laughing gently at her as he pointed up towards his study window. "Remember?"

The wind blew a small trace of lavender towards his body, and he turned his face quickly. A small act to try and prevent the memories, which rushed back to him with a vengeance. Because there she was, standing there smelling of lavender, looking more beautiful than he ever remembered her being.

She was holding what he assumed was a present from his youngest daughter and for a moment he couldn't remember what could've ever broken them apart.

"What've you got there?" he asked, unable to handle the silence. He motioned towards the gift. But seeing her start mumbling again, decided to ease her suffering.

"Here, this might go well with that," he added, handing her the purple envelope covered in horse stickers. "May I," he offered as he took the box so she could examine it.

"Why don't you come inside and we can find somewhere to hide this," he said, before turning to leave.

"But-" she began, but deciding against it followed him in silence. When she approached his doorway the sound of the popcorn bowl shattering echoed in her ears. He must've sensed her discomfort because he mumbled softly, _I haven't been able to eat popcorn since._ Offering her a half smile, she returned it as they crossed the threshold to his apartment.

"Are the girls at school already?" she asked, placing the envelope down as she walked in.

"I asked Beth to take them a little early this morning," he suggested as he turned back to her, shrugging his shoulders. "I was actually hoping to intercept you, I found your letters."

"Oh, Charles look I'm-"

"Don't be sorry," he said kindly, "I'm not mad honestly, I guess it just solidified the fact that **I** was the problem after all."

Liza's heart throbbed, burning in her chest like acid. Fearing it may rip through her skin at any moment she swallowed, hard. The look of pain in his eyes almost dropped her to her knees. Instinctually she reached out, touching his arm fearfully. She wasn't sure if he'd pull away from her embrace. He had been so angry the last time they spoke, and now, he seemed so kind. When he didn't flinch away, she continued,

"Charles please, it wasn't you, I care for you"

"Regardless," he interceded, unable to hear anymore. "I owe you an apology. How I acted, with Jay, the scene at the restaurant. It horrifies me to remember it all."

"Then let's forget it," she offered, "I know there's a scene I caused that I'd like to forget too,"

"Come back to Empirical," he blurted before he could stop himself. Reaching out, he grasped both of her hands in his. Liza's eyes went wide, and she saw him open the door she swore would never unlock again. "I'm sure you know by now, I bought Random House. Jay won't be able to protect you now, but I can. If you work for me again."

"Charles," she began, shaking her head softly. She was torn between her logic, which was telling her to run, and her emotion that wanted to fall into his arms and beg for forgiveness. She took a deep breath before finally pulling her hands out of his. "There's so many things you don't know."

"Then tell me Liza," he pleaded, reaching out for her again, but this time pulling her into his embrace. The warm tears pooled on his navy blue dress jacket, as she let the tears fall. She had admitted she cared for him, but why was she so sad? If the problem wasn't him, and it clearly wasn't the girls, than what was it she was so afraid of?

"If you can't right now, than don't." he offered, realizing this was harder for her than he realized. "But come back to Empirical," he pleaded.

Feeling her shift in his arms he gazed down at her as she pulled back to look at him. He robbed the air from her lungs as he stroking her cheek adoringly. Her chocolate brown eyes captivated him, and it took every bit of his shattered confidence to just lean down and finally kiss her. But the kiss was chaste, and brief as she placed her fingers along his jaw, pulling back slightly.

"It's not that simple," she pleaded willing her heart to find the words, to make him understand.

"It's a job Liza," he stated sweetly, pulling back from her. "This", he said as he motioned between them, "You're right, is not simple. But the job offer is. We work well together, that was never the problem. Diana hasn't filed your position, and Kelsey still needs help with Millennial. Besides, if you're going to be my daughters' secret pen pal, we need to at least be friends." He joked, letting her step back.

She smiled at his words, knowing he was right. She needed a job, she missed seeing him, and at least she would get to see Kelsey and Diana every day again.

"Come back tomorrow for the party," he suggested, handing the envelope she had placed down back to her. "Give me your answer then,"

"And what about everything else?" she questioned, knowing there was so much left to say.

"For now, friends?" he questioned, reaching his hand out to shake hers,

"Friends," she agreed.

{KELSEY}

"Wow, here's to us!" she cheered, clinking her champagne glass with Jay.

"A new beginning" he agreed, reaching across the table for her hand. The two of them had been getting closer since their first meeting at Liza's apartment.

"So Empirical will hold Random House," she considered, running her hand along Jay's as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"There won't be enough editors to cover the authors we'll bring," he informed her, "many will enjoy a new home at Millennial though Charles has assured me."

This made her smile,

"It's lucky that you were bought by a company you know you can trust!" Kelsey added, truly respecting Charles's ethical and moral principles.

"Well, we were lucky we had something he _really_ wanted," he added, taking a swig of his champagne as he spoke conspiratorially. Kelsey pondered for a few minutes, before considering his words.

"No! She breathed dramatically, "Liza?"

Jay laughed out loud at her realization.

"But you can't bring her with you I thought?" Kelsey questioned,

"Well…" he began unsure of how much to reveal. "You don't think _that_ was an accident do you?"

"What do you mean?" Kelsey asked curiously.

"I never had any intention of leaving Liza with out a job. But neither did Charles. Don't get me wrong, he saved the company because we have worthy authors, ones he knew weren't being represented properly. And some that will make his company a lot of money. But that wasn't the only reason. Empirical is in good finical standing, they didn't need this merger."

But seeing Kelsey still pondering he continued,

"You don't think Mr. Brooks is above playing prince charming now do you?"

"He bought your company for her!" she remarked in disbelief, the pieces of the puzzle now finally clicking together.

"He'd never admit it, but yeah, I think that's exactly what he did."


	8. Chapter 8

**As If We Had A Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Summary:** Liza is faced with a lot of decisions, and she struggles with making the right one. Bianca celebrates her birthday and is waiting with bated breath for Liza to show up. Charles discovers some shocking information about Liza that puts all the pieces together, before his heart falls back apart. Can his love for her trump the betrayal he feels?

 **Disclaimer:** I do NOT own younger – or ANY of the characters. The storyline, however, is my own.

Credit: Goes to, The Script – I'm Yours. It was used in a chapter title and a nod was given to it at the end of Liza's letter.

 **Chapter Eight:** "And Though I May Not Look Like Much, I'm Yours."

Liza's body thrashed violently with agitation as she opened her eyes once again to darkness. The red numbers reflected from the ceiling read 3:03a.m. and she kicked her limbs out at the sight of it rolling over. She had been waking up every hour, on the hour, and she couldn't bargain with her mind to sleep. The clock ticked, and she sighed exaggeratedly, wondering how she was ever going to figure it all out.

What was the right thing to do? Should she take the job at Empirical? Should she go to the birthday party? Should she tell Charles the truth? What if he couldn't ever forgive her? Maybe Jay was right all along, and it was better for her to just disappear into the sunset. But she couldn't do that, fate merging their companies now, just as they had merged their timing that snowy night so long ago.

Regardless, she had tried to stay away completely, but she missed the girls too much; she had missed _him_ too much.

Besides where else would she work? The odds of her being able to get another job, while far higher than before, were still not great. Her age, hiatus, and short resume provided a lack of concrete information for her to leverage. Maybe she could consider going into bartending? Or maybe she would just take Josh up on his offer to become a receptionist at his tattoo shop? She had plenty of practice answering phones, and she already knew, her and Josh worked well together.

Finally deciding the only decision worse than telling Charles the truth, was not telling him, she jumped out of bed and started digging. The large antique trunk in the corner of her bedroom housed the last few pieces of evidence of her past life. The longer she played the role of a twenty-six-year-old assistant, the more it felt real. Short of her pictures of Caitlin around the room, there was no trace besides her crows' feet of her 41-year-old life.

After tossing various things behind her haphazardly on the floor, she found the thing she was looking for. Brushing the dust off with her sleeve, she opened the tiny 5x7 flip book of photographs. They were the one's friends had saved from her and David's wedding. The large album she had originally, was thrown out in a fit of rage when she found him cheating.

She opened the plastic cover and removed the one that showed her and David from a distance, standing at the altar. Donned in her white dress he looked every bit the gentleman in his black tuxedo. Shaking her head, she placed it gently on the bed and continued digging through the trunk. She had been so happy than, so young and native.

Next, she came across the paper copy of her diploma from Dartmouth, and after scanning twice she was relieved to find it did list her graduation year. Perhaps her dual degree, one in English Literature, and one in, philosophy would impress him? _It's not an interview,_ she laughed ironically at herself.

Underneath the diploma laid a picture of her in her first tutu as a little girl, and she smirked grabbing that to add to the pile. She looked through the small box that had somehow housed the last twenty years of her life and she partially felt sorry for herself. While she would never regret having Caitlin, so much of her life had just slipped by. She grabbed her discharge papers from the hospital dated back years ago. It stated her follow up appointments and care after the accident that ended her dancing career.

The only thing missing was the one thing she held closest to her heart. Closing the trunk, she reached towards her end table, and turned the picture over. It took her a minute to unclip the tiny plastic hinges that held the backside of the frame together. But when she did, she slid out the picture of Caitlin.

She was in India, smiling with the family that was housing her. She reached around her room throwing in, one of her mini lavender shampoo bottles she had hoarded in a basket, and her worn and heavily read copy of Faulkner's, _As I Lay Dying._

The last thing she added, after her breathe right strips, was a black plastic coffee lid.

After climbing to her feet, she reached above her bookshelf and grabbed the open carboard box that she had saved from a delivery last week. _Convenient_ , she thought as she carefully placed her things in it. She decided to put the least shocking things on the top, and the more shocking ones on the bottom. She started with Caitlin's picture, knowing he would find it last. _Wish your mom luck,_ she sighed.

When she was satisfied with how it was arranged, she climbed back into her bed, and pulled over her laptop.

 _Charles,_ she began.

{CHARLES}

He'd been decorating the purple sprinkle covered horse cake for two hours and was positive it could not have looked less like a horse if he tried. After swiping the icing off, smoothing it back on, and redrawing the nose about ten times he started running out of icing. _Last chance,_ he mumbled as his hands mimicked the outline of the snout in the horse picture next to him. At least it hadn't turned into a circle as the last few he drew did. Praying that it would be good enough, he sighed taking the cake and placing it on top of the refrigerator.

All Bianca had spoken of last night was how excited she was to have Liza come over. Which would've been fine if he had heard anything from Liza about whether or not she was coming. The only thing he could offer to B was that Liza was going to _try._ But honestly, he didn't even know if that was true. He was thankful that she had at least dropped the gift off. Her bedazzled, purple wrapped box helped to enlarge the small pile of gifts he had gotten her.

He had invited Eileen and her husband John to the party, but he doubted they would come. They almost never came to birthdays, but they always sent gifts. They had decided against having children very early in their marriage and it seemed to be a decision they were set on. If he needed, they would always take the girls. But- they seemed just as happy when it came time to bring them back.

He also left word with Jay that he could come by if he wanted too. Jay was the girls godfather, but he spent so much time away these past two years. Even when he came back around again, they'd often forget who he was. Of course, he would spoil them with presents, money, and jewelry to make up for the _lost_ time, immediately winning back their affections. Jay had told him that it was his first official date with his own editor Kelsey Peters.

Honestly Charles was thrilled. The two companies would be merging soon so they would be able to spend more time together. Plus, with Jay being demoted to head of editorial, and Kelsey the head of Millennial, they wouldn't be breaking any rules. He knew that Kelsey would be good for his friend. Rather than the airheaded pretty girls he normally chased, he knew Kelsey, though of course beautiful, was brilliant. She also would force Jay to get out more again, as he tended to become a hermit when he wasn't dating.

But for that reason, he wasn't sure that Jay would be making an appearance. He offered that he could mention it to Kelsey, and they may be able to drop by. But Charles knew he wasn't going to make any promises, and honestly, he didn't blame him. During the last drink the two of them had shared together, Jay let the flood gates open. His unrequited love for Kelsey came pouring out faster than the bar tender could pour the shots.

However, it was likely that if Liza didn't show up, then no one would come to Bianca's party. It was also likely that if Liza showed up, she would be the only other guest and he worried if that would make her feel uncomfortable.

"Daddy!" Bianca chimed, running in with a wrapped present in her hand. "I think this one, is a hatchimal!" she exclaimed shaking the present roughly. To his astonishment she was correct, but he wasn't going to ruin the surprise.

"It looks a little too big for one of those, doesn't it?" he offered, and smiled at how easily thrown off track she was.

"Oh right!" she agreed, running back towards the presents.

Nicole came into the room, entering as she left, and whispered to him conspiratorially.

"You _did_ deliver the invitation, _right_?" she half accused, placing her hand on her hip. He had to laugh and regretted it instantly. "Dad!" she whined, "This is serious!"

"I promise, with my whole heart, that I invited her. It will just depend if-" he was explaining as they heard a knock on the door. He dropped his hands, almost tripping over his two daughters as they raced to beat him to the door. "Calm down, Calm down," he ushered, placing his hand on their shoulder. But when he opened the door his heart dropped a little.

"Chuck!" Jay greeted, hidden. Kelsey was clutching on his arm while he held a box that blocked his face.

"I hope it's all right that I came Charles, I didn't know if this was crossing a line or anything?" Kelsey offered politely. It was a nice consideration as she did still work for him, and he hadn't invited her personally. But when he thought about it, he wished he had. She had proven to be a good friend over the last two years.

"I think we're past lines between us," he laughed reaching to grab her coat. "These are my daughters, Nicole and Bianca," he suggested as he walked away to hang her coat. "Thanks for coming" he whispered to Jay, as took the box from him.

"And which one of you lovely ladies is the birthday girl?" Kelsey chimed, seeing Bianca blush.

"Kelsey is Liza's best friend," Charles added, knowing it would immediately gain her their favor. It worked because they immediately rushed to her side, taking her hands and walking her into the living room. But he cursed himself for bringing up her name. What if she really didn't come?

About a half an hour into the party Kelsey realized Charles had been quiet. While she wasn't sure of the dynamic between him and Jay yet, she knew he wasn't even this quiet at work. But when she saw Charles look back towards the door they had just come through, she had a sneaking suspicion what was on his mind. She had noticed Liza wasn't here yet, and she quickly reached out her phone to text her.

"I think it's time we get going, we don't' want to miss our reservations!" Jay announced, beaming with excitement. As he bid his goodbye to the girls, slipping each of them what appeared to be twenties, Kelsey took her chance to approach Charles.

"Hey, thanks for having me," she offered when he stood up to shake her hand. But she pulled him in for a quick hug, and whispered, ' _Don't worry, she'll be here'._

When she pulled back, she smiled at him. He looked at her, for it took a minute for it to sink in, but when it did, he smiled back lightly.

' _It's just so late',_ he whispered clearly anxious, and she nodded agree,

' _She's coming, don't worry'._ She encouraged, grapping his arm for support before turning to follow Jay out.

{LIZA}

She could not believe that after being awake, literally against her will for the entire night, that she had over slept. After getting the entire package together she typed up a note for Charles explaining everything. Then knowing Maggie would be home this week she straightened up the apartment. She was so exhausted by late morning she vowed to close her eyes for just a minute. But by the time she woke up, she was already a half an hour late.

Thank god Kelsey had texted her, and the phone literally was in her hand as she nodded off. The sound shocked her back to reality and she rushed, grabbing the package and the other small thing she had for the girls before heading out the door. She didn't bother trying to take a taxi, knowing the traffic on a Saturday around lunch would be brutal. Instead she ran down the subway, knowing with the trains she had to change that she'd be almost an hour and a half late.

When she reached into her purse to grab her phone, she realized she didn't have it. She must have left in on the sofa where she threw it after she texted Kelsey back. She had been in such a rush, and now she couldn't even text Charles to let him know she was coming. Knowing there was nothing else she could do but wait, she reached into her pocket to retrieve the small golden locket.

It was just like the one she had gotten for Caitlin when she was a little girl. She had a matching bracelet for Nicole. The bracelet and necklace were both gold, with a small locket that hung off each of them. Inside they had matching scriptures that said,

 _you are my light, you are my life._

She had asked Caitlin if she could regift them, and she agreed. If her mom was going to be serious about Charles, she was going to have to be all in. Caitlin had said, if he was able to forgive her, she couldn't wait to meet him. But Liza wasn't as positive at Caitlin was. What if, he couldn't forgive her? It's why Liza decided now was the time to give them the gifts. At least they would always have a piece of her.

When the last subway she had transferred to came to a stop, she got off slowly. The adrenaline from before gave way and her anxiety was getting the best of her. _Left, right, left, right,_ she encouraged willing her feet to walk on. If she could convince him to wait until she left, then there would be nothing to fear. Finally, she approached the buzzer.

"You came!" he breathed, holding the buzzer open.

When he opened the door, he laughed shaking his head.

"You know you already got her a gift, it's here actually?" he teased, staring curiously at the unwrapped box in her hands.

"This, is, for, you," she said clearly but dragging each word out. She didn't move her hands when he reached out to touch it, and he dropped his chuckling.

"You sure?" he laughed, and she smirked. "Can you just wait to open it until Bianca's party is over?"

His smile faded and he nodded, "Sure, is there something I should know or"

"It's the truth," she offered, letting him take the box. "Everything, all of it. And if you don't ever want to talk to me again after, well, I'll understand."

"Lyzzaa!" Bianca screamed, running full force towards her. Liza bent down to catch her but not fast enough. When she finally connected, Liza lost her balance, and both fell back on the ground.

"Hey!" Charles started, but stopped when his scolding was over shadowed by their laughter. Soon Nicole followed, and ran into the pile.

"You dropped this," Nicole saw, picking the jewelry up off the ground without climbing off Liza.

Marveling at the scene on the ground Charles looked to see what his oldest daughter held. Liza was sprawled out on the ground entirely feigning defeat, while Bianca laid across her right side, and Nicole sat on her stomach, gripping the jewelry.

"That," Liza offered, using her elbows to sit up partly, "Is a gift for you, each of you," she offered taking them from Liza and separating them.

"Oh but I hate-" Nicole began, and Liza smiled,

"Necklaces, I know, here" she turned Nicole's wrist over, and secured the bracelet. "And for my birthday girl," she added waiting for Bianca to turn around.

When she fastened the necklace on Bianca, the little girl ran to her father.

"Daddy! Look!" she offered, and when reaching for it, she unintentionally opened the locket. "Oh!" she cooed, even more excited, "What does it say?"

"It says," he began putting the box down to pull it closer to his eyes. "You are…", but feeling the tears pool he cleared his throat twice and grabbed the box Liza brought him carrying it away into his study.

"It says, _you are my light, you are my life."_ Liza finished quickly, concerned she may have over stepped her bounds by Charles reaction.

"What does it mean?" Nicole asked, trying to solve the riddle of the words mirrored in her inscription.

"It means, Liza loves you as much as I do," he offered walking back into the room composed.

"It does?!" Bianca remarked.

"It does," Liza finished honestly, looking up to smile at Charles.

The rest of the birthday passed without incident. Charles's suspicions had been right about Eileen and John not arriving, and he explained to Liza how she had missed Kelsey.

"I love that they're dating" Liza added, "But how do you feel about it?"

"I feel, happy that he's finally falling for someone _worthy_ , who won't usehim."

"Agreed," she sighed, pouring each of them a glass of wine. It took her a while, but she finally settled both girls into bed. Bianca had been thrilled with all her presents, especially the locket. Now they were making small talk before she had to leave.

"So, are you ever going to tell me how you know Jay?" Charles asked.

"I think once you go through the box, it'll make things easier," she suggested, motioning towards his study. He stood immediately, walking to the study to retrieve something. But when he came back, she was shocked at what was in his hands. Instead of the box it was the note, on blue construction paper that she had written him one morning.

"This Liza," he began, shaking his head, "Is this the _real_ you?" he asked, holding the note up to her. "Tonight, the lockets?" he added.

"Yes," she answered honestly.

"Then I don't care about the rest," he added throwing the note down as he walked up to her, sliding his hand across her cheek, and pulling her in for a kiss. She let her lips dance across his for a few seconds longer than she should've, before she pulled back.

"I'm not twenty-six" she offered, causing his hand to still on her cheek as he looked into her eyes. "And if you can't start to wrap your head around that, the rest is going to be, too much."

"What-" he began, but stopped at the sound of keys slamming down on the end table. Only one person had a key he realized, and he tensed fearing the inevitable. When he let his hand drop from her cheek, he pulled back from her embrace dumbfounded from his revelation.

"Darling, aren't you going to welcome me home?" Pauline purred, birthday card in hand.

{CHARLES}

Liza fled the apartment faster than he could bring his mind to wrap about the fact that his wife, ex-wife was home. Why was she here? And why, hadn't he stopped Liza from running out? After fighting for what seemed like hours, he ordered Pauline to sleep on the sofa, and turned in to his bedroom. He would've asked her to leave but he knew that they needed to talk, and he was generally concerned if he had told her to go that he would never see her again.

Sighing he paced back and forth in his study. He had tried to find sleep and it seemed inevitable. Deciding it wasn't going to come anytime soon, he grabbed the box Liza had brought him and went to his bedroom. After locking the door, he opened the box and immediately came across a printed page, signed in her script.

 _Charles,_

 _Inside of this box is the last twenty years of my life. It holds the things that make up the very essence of who I am. And I can't begin to explain why I lied to you about it all. There were a thousand reasons at the time._

 _I can't promise you that you'll be able to look at me the same after this. And what's worse is I can't promise that you'll ever forgive me. But what I do know is this,_

 _I wish I was the person you saw dancing that night in the storm. It was you who helped me to find her, after years of searching._

 _I lost myself for a long time. Sometimes I was just worried my heart wasn't strong enough or that_ _ **I**_ _wasn't enough. But with_ this _heart I have loved, I have laughed, I have danced in the rain and snow,_

 _and I know it may not look like much to gain,_

 _but this heart I have, is yours_

 _Liza_

Although he had no idea what to expect, he took a deep breath as he removed her note, exposing the contents of the box.

And slowly but surely, he began to unwrap the history, the life of Liza Miller.


	9. Chapter 9

**As If We Had a Choice**

By: Sarah Carey

 **Summary** : Liza attempts to pick up the broken pieces and move forward. She starts her new job at Random House. Kelsey and Diana suspect there's something more going on to Charles's absence at work and begin digging. Kelsey gets to the bottom of things and Jay realizes, he can't have it both ways. {CHARLIZA}

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own YOUNGER (TV); all characters belong to Paramount pictures. However – I've developed my own take on them and the storyline is my own. This will be a Charliza story, from Charles's perspective.

Credit goes to: Adele – One & Only, for the title chapter.

 **Chapter Nine** : "I dare you to let me be your, your one and only"

{Charles}

Meticulously Charles picked apart the pieces in the box, the ones that comprised the makeup of a girl he thought he knew. As if each piece was a seed, planted long ago that sprouted the entirety of the woman he knew today. At first the objects made him smile, such as when he realized the black plastic coffee lid was from the cup she spilled on him. She had saved it from the day they first met, and it encouraged him to continue on. But as he delved deeper his heart started to ache.

The hospital records explained the accident that should've taken her life and it shook him to his core. He wondered why it'd never come up before. Although it explained why someone capable of dancing as eloquently as she, danced no more. But not every piece of information was shocking or confusing. Some of them were simple tokens of her life, and he was thankful for the balance.

The lavender shampoo and breathe right strips made him smile. The scent was one he'd come to associate with her, and the strips were a secret of hers he was actually already aware of.

One night, about a week after she had been staying with him, he heard her crying in her sleep. Having woken up to get a glass of water, he walked past the master bedroom door and he stopped suddenly. He had tapped on the door to wake her, but when she didn't respond to his voice, he approached the bed.

Calling out her name, he stared down at her sitting gently on the edge of his bed and discovered she was wearing something on her nose. Upon closer inspection he realized it was a breath right strip. One that did little to stop the soft snoring that was still coming from her tiny nose and he couldn't help but reach out and touch her hair.

Stroking her cheek softly he whispered to her sleeping form breathlessly, _I love you Eliza_. The sentiment was one he knew it was too soon in their relationship to admit. And had she been awake he probably wouldn't have. But it was one that once he realized, he couldn't seem to deny. He had known her such a short time, but it felt like his heart had loved her all along.

His heart strings tugged lost in the memory, when his eye finally caught the sight of long white dress. Curiously and without warning of the shock that was to come, he pulled the photograph out from beneath a book. The photo was of her, his Liza, standing at the altar. But the photo was all wrong. For the man standing next to her on the day she donned that white dress, was not him as he had imagined it would one day be. But rather she was standing there, hands locked, promising her heart away to someone else.

Turning the photograph over he realized she had written an inscription on the back

 **Liza and David's Wedding Day**

 **Married – 1995 & ****Divorced - 2014**

He could see by the different colored pens used, that she had added in the divorced and while he was thankful that she wasn't currently married, he couldn't stop the anger that arose. All this time, he imagined that he'd be the one to put a ring on her finger one day. He had convinced himself that even though he never thought he'd marry again, that Liza deserved someone who would make an honest woman out of her.

He thought he would be the self-sacrificing man to offer her his hand in marriage, allowing her to experience the commitment he'd already known. Bu the joke was on his because all this time, she had already been married and for longer than he was. How old was she? She had let it slip last night, her words barely able to sink in before Pauline had interrupted.

But she had said it, she wasn't twenty-six and it wasn't like he didn't' believe her. But this- this marriage, it made it real. She had to be close to his age. And where the hell was this David? Had she simply left David, just like she had done to him? His mind was racing, as he grabbed the box wanting nothing more than to throw it across the room. He'd been a fool, a damned fool thinking she'd one day bare _his_ name- when his grip shifted the contents of the box, revealing one last picture.

It was turned face down, but he could tell from the material it was indeed another photograph. He half expected to find another husband hidden in there, but his curiosity forced him to retrieve the picture anyway, as he read the writing on the back.

 **Caitlin Miller-Taylor**

He closed his eyes, almost positive he was going to turn the photograph to reveal a baby she hadn't told him about. But when he flipped it, he saw the picture of one child, who was now actually a grown young lady. She didn't resemble Liza in the physical sense. For her hair was dirty blonde, not brown, and her eyes were blue, not mocha. But there was something about the way she smiled at the camera, tilting her head slightly to the right.

It was Liza's look, the one he'd witnessed a dozen times before and he knew that this was undoubtedly, her daughter. Suddenly he realized that at least _this_ made sense. It explained why she was so good with Nicole and Bianca. It explained why she begged him to understand that the girls were never the problem. Of course, she, as a mother would be empathetic to the loss they must've endured losing their own mother. And it explained why she fought so hard to see his children even after their relationship had ended.

But how could she have hidden an entire aspect of her life from him, this aspect? He trusted her enough to let her be the first woman back in the lives of his daughters after their mother left. But she didn't' trust him enough to even explain that she had a daughter of her own. How would Bianca and Nicole feel about it? He considered. But he knew they'd be thrilled at having another sister which frustrated him, because he couldn't even use that to justify his anger.

Empirical, Millennial, working for Jay. The clarity danced over him defogging his view like wind shield wipers in a storm. Now he understood why she had such a hard time accepting a job from him. Could he still hire her knowing her age? She helped created millennial on the basis of being a millennial. How could she have lied about something so integral to the function of his company? Didn't she realize what this company had cost him, what it had cost his family?

Did Jay know all along? He must have because he said he knew Liza for years, and she had only been divorced for about two. So _that's_ why Jay made Liza uneasy. He must have called her out on everything, threatening to expose her lies. While he was thankful his best friend had his back, even when he didn't know it, he still felt a pang of anger towards him. He knew all along, why didn't he just come to him and tell him?

Also, if he was willing to blackmail Liza to get her to leave, why help her come back? It was his idea to bring Liza to the park, and to have me witness it. But that didn't' really matter did it? What mattered, all that mattered was he had been lied to again. How could she have betrayed him? She spent months dancing around her own lies, all the while letting him fall further and further in love with her.

If Jay knew, than he was sure Kelsey did. The only person he felt like may not have known was Diana. Or did she know too? Was he a joke, a laughing stock they all took pleasure in mocking behind his back? How had he gotten himself into this situation? He was Charles Brooks, head of Publishing and CEO at Empirical Press and now, of Empirical-Random House.

He picked up each of the items he had examined and placed them back in the box carefully, wishing he could unpack the revelations that came with them as easily. Just as he was about to close the box he remembered the paper she had typed up and hand signed, and placed it on top of the contents, hiding them. Letting his eyes fall on her final lines,

 _And I know it might not look like much to gain,_

 _But this heart I have, is yours._

 _Liza_

He shook his head, while shutting the box he knew, he could never really close.

{LIZA}

"And that's when I realized Pauline had walked in," Liza explained, filling Maggie in on everything she had missed the last few weeks.

"NO! The ex-wife?" she questioned, unable to believe she had missed so much.

"I was mortified, I ran," Liza added, shivering at the memory.

"Well yeah, I would've got my ass outta there too," Maggie agreed.

"No, I mean, I literally ran. Like sprinted. I smacked my hand on the door frame on the way out. It was humiliating," she confessed, her cheeks turning red at the memory.

"Have you heard from him yet?" Maggie asked hopeful.

"No." Liza answered simply. She hadn't expected to hear from him right away, but she was dying to know if he had even opened the box. She figured with Pauline there he probably didn't have the time. But why was she so anxious to put the final nail in the coffin of their relationship?

As if he could read her thoughts, she heard her phone chime.

 _We need to talk._

She sighed, knowing that couldn't be a good sign. Nothing good ever followed, "we need to talk". She turned the phone around reaching out to show Maggie.

"Well, you knew this was a possibility Lyz" she pointed out, shrugging her shoulders. "You've got to give him time to get mad, get it all out, he probably feels embarrassed."

Embarrassed? She never considered that he might feel that way. Deciding Maggie was right, she answered him back,

 _When?_

{CHARLES}

Later that evening he kissed his girls goodnight before turning to walk out. He reached into his pockets, making sure he had what he wasn't forgetting anything and grabbed his keys.

Thankfully the girls hadn't been aware Pauline had arrived because she had left before they woke up. After a knock down drag out brawl he informed her that she could not stay there another day. Perhaps she didn't think he would move on? Or maybe she just thought that her abandoning their family wasn't that big of a deal. Either way, she was in for a rude awakening.

Once she proved that she had intentions of sticking around, then she could see the girls again. But it would be limited, and not whenever she felt like it. Her just showing up in the middle of the night after being gone for so long showed how reckless she really was. She tried to attack him for having a woman in the house, but even with his contempt for Liza at the moment, he wouldn't have it. Jay was right about one thing, Liza was _not_ Pauline.

Beth promised to call him if Pauline tried to make a reappearance but he felt confident she wouldn't. Her walking in while he had another woman in his arms seemed to drive home his point that he'd moved on. He straightened the lapel on his navy blue suit jacket, and headed out. He had picked a small restaurant in the village for them to meet at, knowing they needed to talk. He wondered if Caitlin knew about him or if she kept the two sides of her life completely separate.

When he approached the restaurant she was waiting outside, pacing, and for a moment he just stopped to watch her. He didn't know if after their talk, he would be able to look at her the same again. While he had the missing puzzle pieces now, it would never be more real than when she admitted it to him face to face. She looked down at her phone, and sighed and turned back around to keep pacing. Clearly she was as anxious about this discussion as he was, and for some reason, it made him feel better.

Maybe it was because he knew she cared, and all of this wasn't some joke to her. If it was she wouldn't have been so worried. When she turned back the final time, she caught sight of him, and stopped in her tracks. She inhaled as her eyes scanned his body, and he was thankful he took the extra care to get ready. The way she would look at him sometimes was so unguarded it felt like he could read her mind.

"Charles," she said, looking shocked to see the person she'd been waiting for. Was it possible he was more handsome than she remembered? While it had only been twenty-four hours.

"Shall we?" he offered a little too formally, as he looked past her and walked into the restaurant. They had small seat in a private room in the back, just as he had requested and he was thankful for the privacy. The last thing he wanted was any more attention to be drawn to Liza's situation than necessary.

{LIZA}

"And she's been in India this whole time?" Charles asked. They had gotten through the story of her Pauline leaving, her marriage, and divorce and had moved onto a topic Liza was much more comfortable with. Caitlin.

"Yeah, she came home to visit for about a week when the semester ended in May. But she's doing habitat for humanity and they needed her back to build houses this summer,"

"She sounds like a great kid," he added. While it was impossible to imagine the woman he had thought for months was 26 having an 18 year old, he had to admit he was impressed. It seemed like Caitlin was a well-rounded girl.

"She'd like to meet you sometime," Liza added shyly, not sure if now was the time to try to talk about the future. He hadn't given her any sort of indication if he was planning on sticking around or not.

"As ah, your boss or-"

"Or." She confirmed looking down.

"So she knows about us?" he asked surprised. "Ah. I had wondered if the other half of your life was as blind as I was, but it seems to just be me" he said, grabbing his napkin and shaking it open before placing it on his lap.

"Charles, I'm so sorry," she began, but stopped as the waiter brought their salads over.

"Yeah. You said that already," he replied, thankful for the distraction.

They ate in silence, agonizing silence, and it wasn't until the check was dropped that Liza realized things were over. She had told him everything, she had apologized and while he said that he understood, he hadn't let her back in. And if she knew anything about Charles, which she did, she knew she had already used her second chance.

"Maybe I should go," Liza began starting to stand as she heard Charles huff angrily. He was battling with himself internally. All of this was being discussed so diplomatically he could've been a stranger to her. It felt like there wasn't any passion, any pain, and he felt terribly insecure. Why was he the only one suffering?

"Maybe you should," he agreed throwing his napkin on the table. But at the sight of her back he couldn't stop his outburst,

"How could you do it so easily?" he accused, a little louder than intended. He hadn't planned to make restaurant scenes one of his things but it seemed to be becoming a habit. Before she could ask, _do what,_ he continued,

"Lie to me, every minute, of every day, that I was falling in love with you,"

"It tore me apart," she stated calmly but with little emotion. It drove him crazy how at times she could be so collected, when all he wanted was to watch her fall apart. He wanted to know that this mattered to her, that _he_ mattered to her.

Her apologies had been so polite it felt like a forced formality between colleagues. Of course he didn't know it was taking everything she had to not unravel in front of her. Her strength came from the armor she wore, and that armor caused the distanced.

"It doesn't seem that way," he added sarcastically, lacking a better response. But though it was light and ambiguous, it seemed to hit home for she threw down her bag, and finally started yelling. He wasn't sure why the sound of her voice raising two octaves brought such a smile to his face. Perhaps it was just the confirmation he was looking for to know she cared, or rather it was what she said when she started yelling,

"Oh it doesn't? You don't think so? Okay." She began shaking her hands as she yelled, "Look I've been _killing_ myself for months doing everything I can to try and fix this mistake. I've drank myself into stupors crying over what lying to you, was doing to me. I quit my job when I realized what this was," she yelled motioning between them.

"Liza," he interrupted, fearing he had pushed her too far. But she ignored him and continued on, if he wanted a reaction out of her, he was going to get one.

"I left you and the girls when I realized I would hurt you, and you have the audacity to sit there and judge me? Why because I told a lie about my age? I had no idea that I was going to fall for you, no that I was going to fall more in love with you than I'd ever been with anyone. But I did, so sue me. I may have lied to you, betrayed you in the most unintentional way, but I'm still here,"

It was like once she started, she couldn't stop the words from running out of her mouth. She was admitting things she hadn't even consciously recognized herself. But he stood up slowly and reached his hands into his pockets, listening to her yell.

"Liza," he tried again, speaking softly, but she ignored him and continued,

"But you, you, rejected me." She accused, "And here I am now, alone, and broken, and lost, because the only person I've ever really been in love with, doesn't want me for **me**. So I'm sorry I'm not a twenty-six year old, single, childless girl,

"But I'm a damned good mother, and I'm compassionate, and smart, and kind, and if that isn't good enough for you, then maybe this should be the end!" she agreed, inhaling quickly to catch her breath. The tears pooled up in her eyes, and she finally looked at him, pleading for him to cut in and stop her. She didn't mean it, she didn't mean any of it.

"Or," he began as calmly as she had been prior, his baritone voice slicing through the distance between them,

"It could be the beginning," he offered pulling a black velvet box out of his pocket, and placing it open on the table in front of her,

"What…" she asked breathless, scoffing as she furrowed her brow. She was unable to take her eyes off of his, but still able to see the gold band, with the massive round diamond in a box on the table.

"Marry me," he said as he leaned in, tilting his face towards her slightly as he mouthed the words. He paused, waiting for her answer.

She could see more clearly now, the smile etched across his face, and she finally allowed herself to look down, as he reached for the box, presenting it to her more formally.

"Charles," questioned unable to believe what was happening. He slid down onto one knee, holding the box towards her, and laughing softly he shook his head, realizing he never really had a choice. Even if he wanted to leave her, he couldn't, for his heart was hers, and he realized he knew it from the first moment he looked into her eyes.

"Marry me," he began again, "Eliza Miller: mother, 41 year old divorcee, ex-ballerina, ex assistant, current editor, woman who reads to my daughters, steals my last piece of cheesecake and always, always smells of lavender"… he began watching the tears fall from her eyes, "I have loved you longer than you know, and learning these things about you, only makes my love for you grow. When I got over my anger at the box of things you gave me, I realized I was mad only because I've missed so much of your life already, and I don't want to waste any more time. I could never reject you Liza, even if I wanted too, because my heart, is yours. So marry me, and I promise I will do my best to-"

"YES." She called, startling his soliloquy, as she rushed sobbing into his arms.


End file.
